Why My Dad's the Greatest

I did not have a father until I was 15 years old. That was one year ago. My birth father never took an interest in seeing or caring for me and that rejection hurt more than my words can convey. It was not until Roger appeared in my mom's life a year ago that I realized that a father is not always a begetter of an infant. A father is a man who is there for you no matter what, and he may not appear in your life until you are in your teens.

Roger and my relationship started slowly. At first, I was not sure if I liked him or not. He looked a little freaky with his long hair and beard, kind of like a cross between Burl Ives and Santa Claus, and being a little hard of hearing from the war and from jackhammers, he talked and laughed a little too loud at times, embarrassing me. But as time went on, Roger grew on me. In fact, to this day, I have grown to encompass, love and cherish so many qualities about him. I no longer see him as a man with long hair and beard. I see him as a Dad who is extremely loving and generous, a man who never has a bad word to say about anyone.

I am not Roger's only son. He has three blood sons who are grown: men any parent would be proud to boast as their own, and a beautiful daughter as well. He also has twenty-eight other sons-- troubled boys he brought into his home, one-by-one, to help rehabilitate them through varied problems: adolescent growing pains, dysfunctional families, substance abuse, etc. He started this after the loss of his first-born sons, Scott and Troy, in a tragic drowning accident. After the accident, he gave up a prosperous career, and made it his life goal to reach out and help those who need someone to love and care for them. Twenty-eight of these sons are success stories, and have gone on to be fine pillars of the community: policemen, firemen, business owners, lawyers. His love healed their wounds, taking them out of their disease. He let them go when he knew they were ready, standing there in the wings in case they floundered or failed. As macho and tough as he looks, his heartfelt hugs and words "I love you" are the most reassuring and wonderful words I have ever heard in my life.

Even now, grown men continue to come to the door with their wives and families and grab Roger, hugging and kissing him on the cheek, saying, "I love you Roger. Thanks for all that you have done for me."

The phone frequently rings and on the other end are the voices of other sons, those who are too far away to visit, recounting wonderful little boy remembrances about crayfish hunting, picnics, motorcycle rides, the buying and fixing up their first car, trips to the movies, ice-cream and hot-dogs on the Hudson, and encouraging, esteem building, and love filled talks.

Love abounds in Roger's heart. His words and actions flow through his twenty-eight now grown sons, and I know that when he passes on and is no longer here in flesh, his love and spirit will continue to live on and be carried on though their words and actions.

I have learned a lot about love from Roger. He is always patient, always kind, and our long talks and conversation filled walks have taken me farther than just the steps my feet have taken me, they have taken me to a place I never would have gone emotionally, directly and smoothly into manhood on the right path, in the right light, living my life with truth, integrity and love.

I was always ashamed to tell even my Grandfather that I love him. Through Roger's tragic loss, he has taught me and his twenty-eight other sons that if we love, we must show the love and express it today...this very second, for tomorrow is promised to no one. Now, I have no shame about showing anyone my love.

My dad, Roger, is the best dad in the world. He is the only father I have known and that I will ever care to know. He has helped me to develop into a loving, warm and compassionate young man. I will continue to spread his love of humanity through my words and actions, and will pass his many funny stories, his warm and love filled spirit and endless affection onto my children and those lost souls who cross my path in need of guidance, love, and direction.

Credits: Richie Thomassen (16 years old)