Hello to all that have been affected by the adoption triad! I have learned so much since I started searching for my birth family. There have been some really wonderful people out there offering suggestions and encouragement!

When I was growing up, I felt like my brother, myself and two of our family friends were the only ones in the world that were adopted! Sometimes, I felt like I had an "A" stamped on my forehead and that I was so different - everyone must know that we were "Adopted." And with the word "Adopted" being like the words "divorce" and "sex" - that they must be whispered. But as I have grown, I have come to understand that so many have been touched by adoption and now that I have started searching for my birth family - I am amazed at the number of people that are touched by the adoption triad!

Often times, I feel that I am putting together a million piece jigsaw puzzle - only, the pieces are upside down and all that I am able to do is look at the shape and try to find the connecting piece! I get frustrated and sad when I cannot find the information that I am searching for - I find myself wondering and looking closely at everyone I see - asking myself - "could that be her?" or "could that be him?" I've got the information that I read on the non-id document imprinted in my brain. It is almost like a check off - so that when I meet someone - I go through my mental check list - trying to see if "that" person - is him or her!

I am a social worker by trade and maybe I see it as 'who' I am - but I find myself almost doing a social history on some people that have met some of the criteria. I strike up conversations with people, and I want to find out about them! I don't know if anyone else does that or not, maybe I am alone in that regard or maybe that is the social worker coming out in me! Thank you for letting me vent - I love reading your newsletter! Remember, every puzzle deserves to be finished!

Sincerely, Kim Darrough-Hayden

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