An Adoption Journal

Our International Adoption Odyssey: A Project of Hope - The Adoption of an Older Child

On March 27, 2002, my wife Kathy and I returned from Russia with our son, Dinar. We had just finished a remarkable journey that had taken us from being the host family for our "son-to-be" through International Family Services (IFS) and Project Hope in June 2001 to where we stood today as Dinar's new parents.

It all started out innocently enough.

We actually found out about Project Hope by accident. A good friend of ours happened to mention that she and her husband were planning to host two children, a brother and sister, from Russia and that there was still one little boy in need of a host family. After contacting the local IFS office, Kathy and I jumped in with 10 days to go before the arrival of the children, whereas the other families had had a few months to prepare themselves. Just trying to expedite the required background checks for my wife and I was an interesting experience.

Seventeen little children arrived at the local IFS office in the tiny hamlet of Manor, Pennsylvania at 4 AM on a warm June morning. Some sleepy, some crying and all over-tired from what must have seemed a lifetime of travel. These children had gone from Ivanovo to Moscow to Dulles, but no connecting flights were available to Pittsburgh, so IFS rented vans to carry everyone to Western PA. A phone tree kept the information flowing to the equally sleepless host families. When we got the final call, they were a bit less than an hour from the IFS office and it was time to drive over there and join the nervous group of host families.

And then it finally happened! The vans pulled up and the families crowded around the windows of the small second floor IFS office for that first peek at the youngsters. It was actually difficult to see anything. A local TV station, WQED, was set up to film the activity as a part of their series for "On Q" magazine and the glare from the video light cast a reflection on the windows. Up the narrow stairway they all came and into the office. 17 young faces and the three Russian Caregiver Ladies in an "across the office" standoff with the host families.

The IFS Office Manager started calling out names, and she and her assistant started the process of introducing individual host families with their child. A Boy Scout had prepared backpacks filled with small toys and other goodies for all the children as his Eagle Scout project. Soon all the adults and children were sitting on the floor going through the packs and getting to know each other. Notwithstanding the language difficulty there were plenty of accented "pleases and thank-yous".

And so began our journey.

Heading to Russia

Our summer month with Dinar passed ever so quickly, but not before Kathy and I decided to pursue the tangled web of international adoption. We were never given a sales pitch by IFS, nor did we ever have to suffer through any kind of high pressure sales. In fact, I even modified the original IFS contract to my liking with no problem from IFS.

Long after Dinar had returned to Russia and after months of stressful preparation and the completion of mountains of paperwork, as I'm sure many prospective adoptive families are painfully aware, Kathy and I boarded a Delta flight on March 19, 2002 for the PIT-JFK-SVO odyssey.

Upon landing at Moscow's Sheremetyevo (SVO) airport in Moscow at approximately 11:00 AM on March 20, we were met by Svetlana, the Russian IFS Representative. Svetlana is young, chic and going a hundred miles an hour, but we also found her to be friendly, efficient and very professional. She and her assistant, Vladimir, would quickly earn our trust and respect. Svetlana had arranged for us to spend the afternoon and early evening at the Hotel Ukraina. We could rest and have a meal while waiting to go to the train station for the night train to the city of Ivanovo. The Hotel Ukraina is one of those Stalinist era beasts, perhaps glorious in its day, but now old, stuffy, and without air conditioning. The Hotel Ukraina cost us the full day rate of $100, but we knew this ahead of time. Svetlana helped us exchange some dollars for rubles, explaining that we needed rubles for the train tickets and for other items in Ivanovo. We also made a quick stop at a small grocery store to purchase some snacks and bottled water. A nap and a meal later we'd be ready to go to the night train.

Regarding dinner that evening, it actually posed a challenge for us. Not ready to brave Moscow's nighttime streets we opted for the "Atlantic" restaurant inside the hotel. Our waitress spoke some English and we both ordered the Chicken Kiev. It was excellent.

At approximately 8:15 PM, we were met in the lobby of the hotel by Vladimir, Svetlana's assistant. Vlad's english was easily as good as Svetlana's, thank God!

Vlad drove us to the very dark and forbidding train station and got us aboard the correct train and into our berthing car. We had rented the whole 4 person berth for about $60, so we had it to ourselves. Vlad showed us how to lock ourselves in and asked that we wait in our berth upon arrival in Ivanovo until the IFS Rep. came in to get us. Just before the train departed, the "car matron" came by to collect the small fee for the "clean" sheet rental. Regarding the sheets, you could say, arguably, clean but old. I am glad my wife packed our own clean pillowcases! Seven happy hours of riding the Russian version of Disneys Thunder Mountain Railroad, with about 40 stops, we arrived, more sleepless than ever, in Ivanovo.

It was dark and cold in Ivanovo with a dismal drizzle coming down. Upon arrival, we were met almost instantly by Galina. Galina was to be our translator for the duration of our stay in Ivanovo. We gathered up our luggage and she and our driver, Demetri, took us to the Tourist Hotel in Ivanovo. It was about 5 AM. The Tourist Hotel was substandard by just about anyone's standards. Galina had Demetri wake up the maid to get us a room. Upon inspection, Galina didn't like the first room offered so she had the maid take us to a nicer one (marginally nicer). Galina explained that we should get some sleep and she would be back around noon with Irina, our lawyer. We would then drive over to the orphanage to see Dinar for the first time since last summer.

Like many Russian cities we've read about, Ivanovo is lacking the necessary funds to maintain its own infrastructure. The buildings are tired and rundown and the roads are a nightmare of biblical proportions. Trash seems to be everywhere. Though it's been over ten years since the fall of the Soviet state and the rise of the Russian Federation, prosperity has yet to come to this city.

Reuniting with Dinar

At exactly noon Irina, Galina, and Demetri showed up at our hotel and away we all went to Ivanovo's International Boarding School (read "orphanage"). There we met another "Galina", the orphanage director, as well as Dinar's Social Studies teacher, Olga, and his "regular" teacher, Natalia. Also present was the "Social Worker" assigned to Dinar's case. I never did get her name. We all sat at a long table in the Director's office to get acquainted. The atmosphere was very friendly; we all had tea and some Russian scone type cake and chocolates. They brought Dinar in and the reunion began. Hugs all around. Kathy and I have been fortunate in that Dinar is so very friendly and easy-going. He even listens to us - except for the occasional test or standard stalling tactic for a 10 y.o. (you know, bed time...). Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Two other children came by, Evgeny and Ludmilla (brother and sister). We got to know these wonderful kids from last summer's program. They will be adopted by a great family in late May, 2002, and they'll be living close by. They seemed so very afraid that their chance was not going to come, after all, they'd been waiting since last summer. Evgeny held on to my leg and kept looking up at me... very emotional. We had Galina, our translator, explain that their Mama and Papa were going to be there soon. Evgeny continued to shadow me throughout both visits to the orphanage.

One thing was very clear from our visit to the orphanage: though they have very little to work with, the ladies who run the place day in and day out really care for these children. And children there certainly are, a great many of them all over the place! A daunting task for these women.

Finally it was time to go, our visit was over. We said goodbye to Dinar, we'd see him in the morning at court.

In spite of the hype and our own nervousness, court was no problem and Irina had prepared us very well. The judge was a plump lady who appeared friendly, but the prosecutor looked like she could "bend steel in her bare hands." At a side table was a young lady acting as the court recorder. Though it took over an hour, the questions simply followed our homestudy and we stood when addressing the court. The ladies who sat in judgement of us had done their homework. Questions were also asked of the Social Worker regarding Dinar's release for adoption and of Olga, Dinar's Social Studies teacher, who was filling in for the orphanage director. Galina, our translator, did a fantastic job of keeping up with all the back and forth banter.

At ten years of age the judge could have asked Dinar to testify. In a surprise move, the judge asked me if I thought Dinar should testify. Ah yes, I thought, my first trick question. I told them that though Dinar was easy going and friendly, he would probably be shy and perhaps even frightened by the proceedings. Galina said the judge agreed with me. Dinar would not have to appear in court. The judge called a recess and out we went to say hello to Dinar who was waiting outside the courtroom. Ten minutes later we were called back in and the judge read her decision. Our adoption was approved, including our request to waive the ten day waiting period. Court was over. It was the morning of March 22 and Dinar was now our son.

Now it was time to drive all over Ivanovo to get all the required papers before catching the night train back to Moscow that evening. We paid the $20 fee for the expedited passport (or an additional three day wait) but this was known to us ahead of time. Finally, with all documents in hand it was back to the orphanage to pick up our son. Upon arrival, more tea and cakes with the director and some of Dinar's teachers. I took out the video camera and they loved it. Dinar's class came into the Director's office and sang us a song, now forever on digital tape. Galina, our translator, continued to be such a help, truly a wonderful lady. Soon I went with Dinar so he could change clothes and leave the "state owned" clothes behind. Evgeny, my orphanage shadow, was firmly in tow. After changing clothes it was time to go. Good-byes all around, emotional for the adults especially his teacher Natalia. Dinar was all smiles!

That evening, the wondrous night train back to Moscow. Dinar slept like a rock. Ah, youth. Regarding fees, all in line with what we expected. Our driver in Ivanovo was $140 and Galina's fee for translation was $95. The Tourist Hotel did attempt to overcharge us when we checked out, but the lady at the desk clearly didn't expect Galina to be standing at my side. A short exchange in rapid fire Russian and the total was magically reduced. It worked out to approx. $62 per day. Our 39 hours in Ivanovo came to an end.

Doing the Moscow Hustle

Moscow, again. We were met immediately by Svetlana. It was 4:30 AM. Off to the Marriott Grand. No, the Marriott Grand was not really in our budget for what was already a very expensive undertaking but, before we left the US, my wife and I decided that we would opt for a "slice of home" and to hell with the cost. I made our reservations dialing directly from Pittsburgh to the Marriott Grand before we ever left home. We had the help of IFS in choosing the correct dates based upon our expected travel in Ivanovo. The Marriott Grand is at 26 Tverskaya St. (011-7-095-935-8500).

Sometimes you just make the right choice.

When we entered the Marriott Grand in Moscow that early morning on March 23, 2002, Kathy and I both breathed a giant sigh of relief. It was a slice of home. English-speaking staff, and a fantastic breakfast buffet included in the adoption rate price of $185 per night (plus taxes). There was a very nice pool for Dinar, a HOT TUB for us, and full size beds! In addition, lots of other adoptive families to meet and share experiences with. This was worth every penny!

Since we arrived back in Moscow on Saturday, Svetlana told us that we'd have the next three days to enjoy the city. It seems that the US Embassy is closed on the last Monday of every month so we had an extra day to relax. The real paper chase would not begin until Tuesday, March 26.

Let me say, the three of us really enjoyed the Marriott Grand, and from its location on Tverskaya St. it's only a 20 minute walk straight down Tverskaya to Red Square. We did some of the normal tourist activities, visiting St. Basil's and the magnificent GUM. We had dinner at TGI Friday's right on Tverskaya and at a small Italian joint with good pizza but no non-smoking section. We also sent a few email messages to family and friends using the Marriott's on-site Business Center. As advertised, the morning breakfast buffet and the food in general at the Marriott Grand was great.

Our three days of relaxation ended on Tuesday morning, March 26. It was time for our own version of the Moscow Olympics but performed and coordinated perfectly by our Russian IFS Reps. First, the doctor visit and a physical for Dinar. This was performed quickly and easily, and in our hotel room for $95. Ohmygod, this Dr. made a house call!!! Right on the money. Then the goofy US Embassy. A $325 charge for a Visa and the "magic package" for INS. What a deal, all so we could get that completely unnecessary "Green Card." Time for the illustrious leadership at INS to wake up to the new law! The US Embassy interview was perfunctory and quick. A few questions, a raise of your right hand and you're on your way. Lastly, the Russian Consulate for $120. And the answer is, sign on the line and it's time to go. At the Russian consulate, Svetlana and Vlad pointed out a number of folks wandering about from line to line in a merry-go-round process of completing paperwork. These poor folks were pursuing "independent" adoptions. Perhaps I'm just not adventurous enough, but I would not want to tackle this process without the help of an agency. As I said, everything perfectly coordinated by our IFS reps. And what they never told us, a form was missing from our package from Ivanovo. Unknown to us, they contacted our lawyer, Irina, and had the document sent via the previous evening's night train to Moscow. I asked Svetlana why she never told us until now and she said, "Why worry the new parents? There was nothing you could have done but loose sleep, we had it under control."

Our trip was drawing to a close. It was now our last evening in Moscow. Time to repack, double check the paperwork, and for just a bit, reflect on this whirlwind trip.

It was now the morning of March 27, and the three of us were back at Moscow's draconian little Sheremetyevo airport for the SVO-JFK-PIT adventure. Here we finally paid Svetlana the $500 "Travel and Assistance" fee. Again this was one of the fees we had planned for ahead via IFS. It covered all Moscow travel regardless of how much, including two airport trips, two trips to the train station, US Embassy, Russian Consulate, and all of Irina and Vlad's running around to set up appointments etc. I actually thought we'd still be paying the driver $50 for each trip to the airport and mentioned this to Svetlana. She quickly said no, it was included in the overall fee. We tipped the driver a small amount anyway.

A quick goodbye to Svetlana at SVO and we were off on Delta to JFK.

We'd spent approx. 7.5 days in Russia.

Some of you have asked about what travel agency we used and prices for flights etc. Well, we didn't use a travel agency. I made our Marriott reservation myself and Svetlana took care of our first afternoon/evening in Moscow by having us stay at the Hotel Ukraina. Regarding flights, we chose to use Delta exclusively and I also contacted them directly. We ended up paying $750 per person round trip for our PIT/JFK/SVO airfare and it cost $652 for Dinar's one way from Moscow. Where we did take a chance was that our tickets were the reduced rate, non-refundable, extra charge for changes, type of tickets. Dinar's ticket was not this type. He had a refundable, change for free, adoption rate ticket. In fact, Delta even called us back shortly after I made the reservations to tell us that there was a lower price for Dinar's ticket. The price was reduced from $768 to $652. A pleasant surprise!

A word about gifts for those we interacted with in Russia. My wonderful wife was completely in charge of gifts. No specific amounts were expected and Kathy discussed her thoughts and got suggestions from our IFS office. We had gifts for the Orphanage Director, Lawyer, Translator, IFS Reps in Moscow (Svetlana and Vlad) and a bunch of stuff for the kids. Actually Kathy had knit hats and gloves for the children in Dinar's "group". No gifts were expected for the judge or prosecutor. Kathy also had some extra stuff packed and we gave gifts to some of the other teachers who came by the Director's office. That was about it.

Back in the USA

Upon landing at JFK, Dinar instantly became a US Citizen. Except of course for the INS. The first customs official we met at passport control was EXTREMELY NICE! He even apologized for the obvious stupidity regarding the INS paperwork and the "Green Card". Oh well, through those wickets and on to PIT and home.

At home, Dinar has adjusted very well. School is also going very well. Almost immediately we had our first face to face parent-teacher meeting but with a significant twist. In attendance was the Superintendent of Elementary Schools, the Elementary School Principal and five of Dinar's teachers. Three of these ladies are part of the PA mandated ESL "English as a Second Language" program. Dinar continued in the 4th grade and did very well. The teachers and students love his accent especially when he "rolls his Rs."

We have been so very fortunate.

If you need assistance with translations for your children, you may wish to try the following website. It's free and quick, and if you use MS Internet Explorer and also open MS Word. you can copy and paste into Word for longer "talks" and then save the information: http://www.translate.ru
Even some of Dinar's teachers have used it.

Now almost a year later, it's as though Dinar has always been a member of our family. He's in the 5th grade and doing very well. His ESL teacher has rated him "fluent" in English though he continues to work on English grammar. A week ago. one of the Project Hope families hosted a party in their home for all the children. The party was great fun and very well attended by many of the children and their parents. It was great to see how far these wonderful children have come in such a short time.

We've reached the end of our "narrative." We hope it has made for some enjoyable and informative reading. We wish all of you the very best of luck for your own international adoptions.

Regards,

John and Kathy
jgale53@attbi.com