Addiction and the Problem of Psychological Dependence

In drug addiction, the substance is the least part of the problem because when sobriety is attained and recovery begins, underlying psychological damage must be repaired.

Addiction is the compulsive, dependence on a self-destructive substance or activity to survive. The same definition holds for chemical dependency and for addictive behaviors like compulsive overspending, overeating, overworking, philandering, and gambling. In each case, want power overwhelms will power to devastating personal effect.

Once in recovery, addicts looks back on active addiction and often characterize that period as "spinning their wheels," as a time when they were unable to get traction, catch hold, and move forward with their lives the way they wished they could.

Looking back, a host of self-defeating behaviors are revealed, behaviors that have kept them from engaging productively on their own behalf, and these behaviors constitute the PSYCHOLOGICAL DEPENDENCE that goes hand in hand with addiction.

Just consider a few of the more common components of psychological dependence that people in recovery must correct if they are to gain freedom of independence to constructively rebuild their lives.

1) COMMITMENT. Better at making promises than keeping them, addicts leave behind a string of broken promises that have repeatedly let down and disappointed themselves and others.

RECOVERY MEANS LEARNING TO KEEP ONE'S WORD.

2) CONTROL. Unable to resist temptation, addicts allow impulse to rule over judgment time and again.

RECOVERY MEANS REASSERTING THE RULE OF BETTER JUDGMENT.

3) COMPLETION. Able to start much but finish little, addicts have a hard time seeing plans or projects through.

RECOVERY MEANS FINISHING WHAT ONE BEGINS.

4) CONSISTENCY. Able to resolve to take healthy care of them selves, addicts have a hard time maintaining the continuity of effort and discipline required day after day to support well being.

RECOVERY MEANS KEEPING UP GOOD HABITS THAT SUSTAIN GOOD HEALTH.

5) CONFRONTATION. When faced with negative consequences for what they did or did not do, addicts learn to cover up and deny personal responsibility.

RECOVERY MEANS OWNING ONE'S ACTIONS AND THE UNHAPPY OUTCOMES THEY CAN CREATE.

6) CONFESSION. When admitting the truth will cause pain or problems, addicts learn to lie about past performance, present events, and future plans.

RECOVERY MEANS BEING HONEST WITH ONESELF AND OTHERS.

7) CLOSURE. When faced with difficult decisions either way they choose, addicts often decide not to decide and let whatever happens determine what they do.

RECOVERY MEANS LEARNING TO MAKE HARD CHOICES IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD.

8) COMMUNICATION. When unhappy feelings arise, addicts often choose to shut up about them and resort to substance use to escape or medicate the pain.

RECOVERY MEANS BEING WILLING TO ADMIT UNHAPPINESS, SPEAK UP ABOUT IT, AND TALK HARD FEELINGS OUT.

The cost of psychological dependence is SELF-CONTEMPT from breaking promises, from giving into temptation, from giving up good beginnings, from letting self-care go, from lying about reality, from denying responsibility, from dodging hard decisions, from concealing feelings when feeling bad.

In this light, the psychological dependence that accompanies addiction is mistreatment, a form of self-abuse that causes the person to feel worse and worse about himself or herself.

That is why ALL RECOVERY IS RECOVERY OF SELF-ESTEEM.

© Carl Pickhardt Ph.D. 2001, all rights reserved. For permission to use, contact author.