Adopting a Waiting Child: Step by Step

How to adopt from the U.S. foster care system

For the purpose of this article, the term "waiting child" refers to a child in the care of U.S. public welfare and foster care programs for whom adoption is a permanency option.

The steps to adopting a waiting child in the U.S. foster care system are similar to those in private agency and independent adoption, with some important differences.

What You Need to Know

There are several ways to approach adoption through the U.S. foster care system:

1. Adoption of a child or sibling group who has already been, or will be within a short period of time, legally released for adoption (parental rights terminated or relinquished);
   
   
2. Accept placement of a child, where the child's reunification with biological family is still a possibility. If reunification or other in-family placement isn't effected within a certain period of time, the child will be released for adoption by you (known as Foster-Adoption or Fost/Adopt). The process of working toward more than one goal for a child (reunification with parents, placement with family, adoption) is known as concurrent planning);
   
   
3. Foster parent adoption, where licensed foster parents proceed to adopt a child in their care.

In the first two instances, parents go through the complete adoption homestudy process, parenting classes, and other education and training prior to placement of the child/children in their home. In the third case, placement of the child/children is made in the home of licensed foster parents who, before moving on to adoption, will require an approved homestudy.

Steps to Adoption

1. Learn about adoption
   
2. Examine your capabilities
   
3. Adoption expenses
   
4. Select an agency
   
5. Complete an application
   
6. The homestudy
   
7. Parenting and pre-adoption classes
   
8. Locating a child
   
9. Matching
   
10. Prepare to welcome your child
    
11. Placement
    
12. Petition to adopt
    
13. Finalization

Educate Yourself About Adoption

The steps to adopting a waiting child are much the same as adopting any child, and mark the beginning of the lifetime commitment you will be making to a future member of your family.

"Instead of thinking in terms of 'right' and 'wrong' or 'best' and 'worst,' think in terms of being a fact-finder, or an adoption sleuth."

© 1998 Homes for Kids

Educating yourself about adoption means reading everything you can get your hands on, listening to all voices from the adoption community, learning the terms commonly used in adoption, your state laws, and connecting with others who have information and experiences to share.

Learn the language. Adoption language ranges from the way we use words like "expectant parent" and "birthparent" to special terms used in adoption subsidy discussions.

Read. Information is available online, in bookstores, at libraries, and through local agencies, attorneys and support groups.

Attend support group meetings, workshops and conferences. Talking with those who are exploring adoption, and those who have been in your position, is an enormous benefit.

Learn about your state child welfare system. There are two types of state adoption systems, and it's important that you know how your state operates.

• State-centralized system - Policies and practices are controlled by a state Department of Social Services (DSS) or similar office, and are consistent throughout the state;
  
• County-centralized system - The state provides an umbrella organization, but each county has a certain amount of flexibility in setting policies and procedures, including subsidy payment options.

Qualifications

One of the advantages of adopting a waiting child is that prospective parents do not have to be wealthy, married, under 40, or own their own homes in order to adopt. Some of the qualities adoption professionals look for in those seeking to adopt are:

• a belief in adoption and the ability to commit;
  
• patience and perseverance;
  
• a talent for keeping life in perspective;
  
• flexibility in the face of the unexpected;
  
• the strength to be consistent and set limits;
  
• a willingness to advocate for your children's medical and educational needs, and
  
• a resolution of issues that may have led you to the choice of adoption.

Examine Your Capabilities

Even if you already know you want to adopt a waiting child, you should consider what type of child you are willing to bring into your family. What disabilities and challenges can you comfortably handle? What age range, background, ethnicity? Are you open to helping your child maintain contact with his/her birth family members? Could you provide a home for two or more siblings? Your home, or access to services may not accommodate a child with certain challenges. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you cannot be all things to all people, and a realistic evaluation will result in greater success for your adoptive family.

In many states, post-adoption contact agreements are also being entered into in adoptions through public welfare agencies.

It's imperative to bring total honesty to the adoption process if children are to benefit. You may be hesitant to admit that certain medical, emotional, or behavioral problems seem to be too great a challenge, but it's important to face these doubts. Education opportunities are available to enable you to learn more about specific problems, and you should be given the opportunity to ask the hard questions. You may find that what you thought would be difficult is well within your capabilities.

And, of course, when you meet that most wonderful child, be prepared for all your preconceived ideas and plans to evaporate.

Recommended Reading:

• Adopting a Substance-Exposed Child
  
• Adoption Self-Evaluation
  
• Toddler Adoption
  
• Older Child Adoption
  
• Post-Adoption Contact Agreements
  
• Who are the children in foster care?
  
• What are "special needs?"

Adoption Expenses

When you adopt a child who is currently waiting in foster care, fees are not only often kept to a minimum or even waived, but many of the children will be eligible for federally-funded or state-funded adoption subsidy payments which help you meet the child's ongoing needs. In addition, some children qualify for SSI (Social Security Insurance) payments or Medicaid coverage because of their medical conditions.

State Assistance: After families have finalized the adoption of a waiting child from the public child welfare system, they may be able to apply to the state for reimbursement of non-recurring expenses they paid related to the adoption, which may include home study fees, travel expenses to meet the child, attorney fees, etc. Each state sets a maximum cap which cannot exceed $2,000 per adoption. Some states also have a tax credit program similar to the federal tax credit. Be sure to check with your tax advisor.

Federal Assistance: Starting with tax filings for the year 2003, the federal Adoption Tax Credit of $10,160 is available in full to those adopting children domestically who are determined to have special needs, even when the qualifying expenses don't reach that limit. For more information, see Adoption Tax Credit.

Select an Agency

It's natural to assume that adopting a child in the care of the state is done exclusively through the state departments of Social Services; however, this is not the case. Some states contract with private agencies to do the home study, placement and post-placement follow-up, and many private agencies will handle waiting child adoptions.

Reasons for selecting a private agency for your homestudy may include:

• It will enable you to pursue adoption of any child in any state because you will be able to send out copies of your homestudy yourself;
• Unresponsiveness from your local social service department.

While adoptions handled by private agencies qualify for subsidies (adoption assistance payments), many of these agencies are not experienced with application procedures, and do not have skills necessary when something goes wrong. Adoptive parents can find themselves on their own in a fight for medical, educational, and other benefits for their children. Be sure to ask questions to make sure you understand any limitations that may exist:

• How many children (with what characteristics) have they placed in each of the past few years?
  
• What does the agency do to help prevent disruption after placement?
  
• What is the agency's policy toward applicants who refuse the first child offered to them?
  
• What services - such as parenting classes, support groups, respite care, etc. - will the agency provide before and after a child is placed with you?
  
• Can the agency provide references from parents who recently adopted from them? (Keep in mind that agencies will rarely, if ever, provide an unfavorable reference.)

Source: North American Council for Adoptable Children

Several non-profit organizations work to promote awareness of waiting children. These are often called adoption exchanges, and are not agencies. They do not normally charge for matching children with families, and serve as a "meeting place" in order to bring more children to the attention of prospective parents. Their listings generally include children from several states.

Complete an Application

Depending on the agency, application fees (if any) may be non-refundable; however, whether they are or not, you should inquire about orientation schedules and attend the sessions before you complete the application. Orientations include information about foster care, adoption practices and policies, and available children.

Questions to Ask

Orientation sessions are the place to ask any and all questions you have before moving ahead in the process. No question is too trivial!

• Be sure to ask what happens if you change your mind about the particular agency, or about adopting.
  
• Ask how long you can expect to wait before hearing from the agency, and let them know you are serious about adopting.
  
• Ask also how you should go about scheduling and preparing for a homestudy.

Once your application is completed, you will be assigned a caseworker who will talk with you in more detail about the type of child you wish to adopt, available children, and your views on adoption.

The application should not be confused with the homestudy or family assessment.

The Homestudy

The homestudy (also called a "family assessment") is an important, and required, part of every adoption, whether through a private or public agency. It is designed to help your social worker get to know you, and to educate and prepare you for parenting in general and parenting a child with challenges more specifically.

During the study process, you will be asked for information about your education, background, finances, medical history, your views on adoption, parenting, and family. Personal interviews will be conducted with each member of your household, including other children. The process can take anywhere from a couple of months to a year.

Each state has general regulations, but individual agencies have their own policies and ways of conducting the study. Ideally, the homestudy process is a time of further education about adoption, specific challenges, and the needs of children, in addition to the fact-gathering.

Homestudies are performed by social workers licensed by the state for this purpose.

Take Classes

Public agencies generally require pre-placement training to help prepare prospective parents for issues that can arise after a child or sibling group is placed with them. In some states, these are called MAPP (Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting) classes, and are also required for those seeking to become foster parents.

Older (school-aged) adoptees bring not only unique special needs, but a history of life experiences that will affect interactions with adoptive parents, new siblings, school mates, and others. Issues related to disability, culture, early abuse, birth family members, etc., should be discussed - to your satisfaction - before a child is placed in your home.

If your agency does not require a training course, or provide enough education to make you feel comfortable, take advantage of every opportunity available elsewhere to learn about adoption, parenting, and developmental stages.

Locate a Child

If you're adopting through an agency, learn what criteria they use to match children with families. Are they willing to search outside your immediate area (or in another state)? If you learn of a child in another state on your own, will they pursue the adoption for you?

Books of photolistings are made available to qualified prospective parents (those with a completed home study), and many agencies hold gatherings where social workers from several areas meet with prospective parents and introduce them to waiting children. There are several national and regional adoption exchanges that promote awareness of waiting children on the Internet, and over the past few years, several states have developed Web sites of their own. There are also national and local television events to promote waiting children, such as Wednesday's Child programs.

Best Resources:

• How to Find & Use Photolistings
• AdoptableKids.com

Matching

Before accepting a child for adoption, learn as much as possible about the child, his/her background (including prenatal exposures), and the child's birth parents. Most agencies encourage one or more visits before any decision is made. If the child has medical conditions or other disabilities, this is the time for you to decide if you are prepared to address any issues that may arise.

Children in the custody of a public agency were generally either abused, neglected, or abandoned by their birth parents. Abuse and neglect can leave physical and emotional scars. It is important that you feel sufficiently prepared to welcome a child who may have a traumatic history into your family.

Legal-risk placement

If you accept a child whose birth parents' rights have not been voluntarily surrendered or involuntarily terminated, you must accept the chance that the child could be returned to his/her birth parents. The child cannot be adopted before parental rights are terminated, and he/she will remain in your home as a foster child.

Additional Reading:

• Legal Considerations for Adopting Parents

Prepare to Welcome Your Child

The addition of a new child - or new children - is going to change your life, even if you've adopted before. Depending on your situation, there are several tasks that will need to be completed. This checklist comes from the North American Council on Adoptable Children:

• Update health and insurance coverage.
  
• Get a copy of the child's original birth certificate.
  
• Learn as much as you can about the child's habits and personality from workers and foster parents to ease the child's transition into your home.
  
• Prepare the child's room to make it welcoming.
  
• Inform other children about the changes that will occur and prepare them to share, adjust schedules, and withhold judgment during the transition.
  
• Negotiate an adoption assistance agreement (AAP).
  
• Line up services (day care, school, therapy, tutoring, respite care, etc.) for your child and yourself.

Sometimes social workers will refer families to special interest organizations that offer information and/or counseling on particular medical or emotional disorders. Support groups of parents who have adopted a child with a similar condition are helpful in sharing their experiences.

Additional Reading:

• Negotiating Subsidy Agreements
• Preparing to Welcome Your Child

Placement

Children placed for adoption through public agencies may move in with an adoptive family as soon as the required pre-placement visits have been held and approval to adopt has been given. At that time, you assume temporary legal custody.

During a period of time when your family undergoes the initial adjustment (ranging from a few months to a year or more), your agency will monitor how well the placement is proceeding. If all goes well during this period, the agency will recommend to the court that the adoption be approved.

A reminder about Legal Risk Placement

If you accept a child whose birth parents' rights have not been voluntarily surrendered or involuntarily terminated, you must accept the chance that the child could be returned to his/her birth parents. The child cannot be adopted before parental rights are terminated, and he/she will remain in your home as a foster child.

Additional Reading:

• Best Books for Talking to Kids About Adoption
  
• Not Just Like Me, by Judith Longman, R.N., about the importance of acknowledging and celebrating diversity

File a Petition to Adopt

This is the beginning of the court process. The petition to adopt is a court document in which you make a formal request for permission to adopt the child. To file the petition, you will most likely need (among other things):

• your child's birth certificate or birth date and place of birth;
  
• a written statement of your desire and suitability to adopt, as well as your ability to provide financially for the child;
  
• a written declaration that the adoption is in the child's best interest;
  
• your name(s), age(s), and address;
  
• the date when and from whom you received custody of the child;
  
• a statement of the legal reason why the birth parents' rights are being (or have been) terminated, and
  
• a disclosure of any relationship that you may have with the child (other than as an adoptive parent), such as aunt, grandparent, or stepparent.

Your social worker will inform you of other information and/or documents that may be required.

Additional Reading:

• Glossary: Petition to Adopt
• All About Lifebooks

Finalization

Finalization hearings usually take place within a year of the time the child is placed in the home. Before scheduling a hearing, check with the agency to make sure you have completed all necessary paperwork, otherwise the finalization could be delayed. Your adoption is not legally complete until you have gone through the finalization process.

Hearings usually last from 30-60 minutes and establish the new legal relationship, and confirm your willingness and ability to provide for your new child.

The court will seek to establish that the child has been placed in a loving, secure home. You should be prepared to present all information included in your adoption petition, and to answer questions about why you want to adopt, how you will care for your child, how your family is and will continue adjusting, and anything else the court feels is relevant.

And when the judge signs the adoption order, you gain permanent, legal custody of your child! Finalization is the last formal step of the adoption process, but just the beginning of your new family. Post-adoption services and support should be the next step in your family life.

Next Steps:

• Adoptive Parenting
  
• Rituals & Ceremonies for Adoptive Families