An Adoptee's Open Letter to his Birthmom

(as it appeared on Carol Bird's Ask the Expert bulletin board)

Hi Mom,
It's my birthday this Friday and I've been thinking about you. I will be 42 and I'm doing fine. I've been kind of down this week and I didn't know why. I want you to know that I'm happy, I have a wonderful 11 year old son, a beautiful wife and I'm in great health. I wish I could tell you how much I think about you and how thankful I am that you gave me life.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, I think it makes me feel better. I just read a letter on this board from a birth mother and I could tell she was in a lot of pain. I wish so much that I could tell you how much I appreciate you and that I'm not resentful in any way. If you are wondering about me or if you are in any way feeling bad I wish I could do something to ease your fears, worries or any uneasiness that you might have.

I just wanted to tell you that I think about you often. I am doing great and I hope you are too. My wish is that when or if you think about me that you don't feel pain and sorrow but that you feel strong and proud that you chose to give me life. I want you to smile knowing that you have given me a wonderful life and that I am happy and healthy.

I have always wondered about you, what you look like, how your laugh sounds, what your smile looks like. I would love to show you pictures of my son and tell you about him.

Thanks Mom!
--Your birth son