Take this Quiz and See if You are Ready

You're thinking of adopting a child. You're learning as much as you can about the process and the issues. But, you keep coming back to the same question: How will I know when I am ready to take this life-changing step?

To answer this question you need to think about why you want to adopt. Your motives can reveal a lot about your readiness. To help you assess them, I have assembled a variety of motives expressed over the years by families that I have worked with. None of these is made-up. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in one-or several. Beside each motive, I have offered my opinion or advice regarding the wisdom of such thinking.

I want to adopt because...
(click YES to the answers which fit you)

1. I want a playmate for my birthchild.
No YES

2. My religion tells me to reach out to those less fortunate than I am.
No YES

3. My infertility is a constant sadness. It hurts terribly.
No YES

4. We are quite well off and could give so many things to a child.
No YES

5. Our marriage is shaky and a child will bring us back together.
No YES

6. Since we can't have birth children, I guess we might as well adopt.
No YES

7. There's no difference anyway. Adoptive parenting and birth parenting are really the same. Aren't they?
No YES

8. I really want to adopt but my husband is ambivalent.
He'll come around once the child is ours.
No YES

9. I feel so empty inside. A child will fill up that emptiness.
No YES

10. I just want to cry when I think about all those poor homeless children.
I think I'll take one in.
No YES

11. There's absolutely no child that I couldn't love.
No YES

12. I am a teacher (or mental health professional or social worker or doctor) and I am a "pro" at dealing with children.
No YES

13. All these children really need is a lot of love.
No YES

14. I/We just really like kids and want to add one (or more) to our family. I want to be someone's parent. I know I have a lot to learn but I want to begin.
No YES

© Adoptive Families Magazine

Credits: Barb Holtan