Community Post Adoption Counselor

Dear Judy,

Q: How do I convey an inclusive Mother's Day message for the women in my congregation who are mothers through birth or adoption, or who have placed their child for adoption?

A: One Mother's Day, a new mother in our congregation was sharing her delight at the wonder of giving birth and holding her new baby. The man beside me winced. Recently diagnosed as sterile, he could not give his wife this joy. The scriptures chosen for this particular Sunday spoke of women, who after a time of infertility, were "remembered" by God and bore a child. But, as your question so poignantly asks, how can a congregation
"remember" others?

Say a prayer of thanks for mothers and all women who nurture us. For those who are raising biological children, adopted children, foster children, and for those mothers who made the difficult, but loving decision to place their children for adoption. Pray for those who would be mothers and for all those separated from their children on this day. If it has happened in your congregation, tell the story of a baby naming or baptism at which the adoptive and birth parents were both in attendance. By actually naming the different ways that women can be mothers, more dialogue about these situations might occur among your congregation and with you.

Judy Stigger, LCSW, is a social worker, an adoptive parent and a birth grandmother. She offers counseling for anyone touched in any way by adoption or infertility, as well as consultation for professionals. For more information or to refer, please call 847-733-3249 or go to www.cradle.org and click on "Post Adoption Services."