Teens are experts at engaging parents in power struggles. They appear to like the game and they turn it into a competition. They are hoping that if they 'out shout' the parents they will win. They believe they can argue till the parents accept defeat. The problem is that there really is never a winner.

During a conversation, it is fine to explain your feelings about their behavior. It is great to give kids all the details concerning rules and consequences. You should listen to their ideas and concerns on the topic. But, that is where it should end. If you continue to argue back and forth, the power struggle takes over and nobody wins. This is where you make your exit.

As you leave 'the arena', you take with you any chance of keeping the 'fight' going. The issue is closed; the discussion finished. Conversation has come to an end without a further chance of ' bloodshed.'

The teen usually looks bewildered the first few times you do this, especially if 'staying in the fight' has been your previous style. Remember the old adage about it takes two to fight. This really is true in this case.

It takes the 'wind out of their sails' when no one is listening to their whining or shouting. They may feel there is no use and give up. However, some kids will follow you into another room or outside and continue to argue. Repeat the mantra, "Discussion is closed, end of conversation."

Use this technique anytime the conversation is getting unreasonable or out of control.

Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel