I doubt many have gone through even a month of home schooling without having an obligatory bad day. We all have them. Maybe the children are fighting a lot. Perhaps they have the attention span of a gnat. The house is probably a mess.

These bad days used to throw me into a tailspin. I began to question everything. Did I make the right decision, was I using the right curriculum, were my children going to be maladjusted, was I ever going to have a clean house again. On really bad days, I would wonder why I ever left the work force and had all these kids! On really, really bad days, I would look at my husband and envy his "freedom" to go to work every day, completely negating the many sacrifices he endures to support our chosen lifestyle.

With a few years of home schooling under our belts, I began to realize that bad days were normal. The 20/20 vision of hindsight causes me to forget that there were many days in the work force that I despised. I would come home from work stressed out, longing for the simple pleasures of home.

Having the privilege of enjoying ten years of the simple pleasures of home, I see now that they aren't all that simple. I also recognize it is often my own attitude and expectations which cloud my thinking.

What can cause discouragement?

Neglecting our own spiritual life - number ONE cause
Trying to do too much
Not taking care of ourselves:
too little sleep
too much junk food
Having a negative attitude
Comparing ourselves with others
Unrealistic expectations of child's behavior or academic performance
Lack of consistency in child discipline

When were we ever told that life was supposed to be all fun and games? Before I figured out some things about child rearing, I thought my job was to be the cruise director for my children. Childhood was to be bliss and sunshine, with nary a cross word spoken.

The decision to home school was not easy for me. I read about it, prayed about it and reasoned that it would be a good thing.

The Decision to Home School: Moving to Do It
I didn't really become convicted about the issue of home schooling until I sent my oldest child to kindergarten. She attended for four months and during that time, God worked on my conscience. I felt a discomfort and guilt that I can only now associate with disobedience. I was being disobedient to something God had put before me to do. I was ignoring his call and doing things my way.

When I removed her from school, that discomfort went away to be replaced by peace. Not that it is easy, but there is a peace in knowing that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, no matter how difficult.

During a hard season, I will cry and gnash my teeth because this is too hard. I remind myself of one of my daughters who regularly cries, "This is too hard for me!"

Was anything worthwhile that we have learned or done EASY?

When I think of possibly returning the children to school, I must remember who gave me the job of home educator - God. Until he calls me to something else, I must stay the course and follow through on my commitment in obedience to him.

When that thought crosses your mind, as it inevitably will, ask yourself if that is from God or from your own weakness. He can make our weakness strong. We only need to obey him and listen to his instruction.

Encourage Yourself!
Are you so caught up in your own agenda and your own way of doing things that you often find yourself angry and discouraged? Because we are strong home schoolers, we grit our teeth and keep on task. Is God giving you answers, only they are not the answers you want? Do you seek one solution and God has in mind another? I often look for a way out of a problem when God wants to see me through the problem.

Discouragement is a personal thing. You may become discouraged about something which I have already resolved. I may be struggling with something which you have dismissed as elementary. It occurs when we have placed our confidence in our abilities and strengths as persons. When we place our confidence in God, we cannot be discouraged because with him, all things are possible. When we try to do this work in our own strength, it is discouraging.

Discouragement is also an emotion - a shifting, shadowy thing which is likely to change with the wind. Do we let our emotions rule us? Or do we stand on the rock of Jesus Christ and weather the negative emotions of life, keeping our eyes on his promises?

In this age, we quit jobs, quit marriages, dissolve relationships at the drop of a hat. "This is too hard/too boring/too confining." So we think we have the right to make drastic changes which affect so many others simply so we might experience a wee bit more happiness.

Home schooling calls us to die daily to our self will. God wants control. When we stop the tug of war with him, he will bring us joy. Does home schooling seem impossible? That is where God want you to be. When you have come to the end of your self, you can then obey God and start to do things his way in his strength. If God has called you to home school and it seems un-doable, you are not carrying the load in the strength of the Lord.

How do we do this? Begin by submitting in small things. Quit fighting with your emotions over distasteful tasks. When we do the thing set before us with joyful obedience, our discouragement will lessen.

How can we encourage ourselves?

Scripture and prayer. We serve a God understands our troubles and can strengthen our weaknesses
Reading encouraging books, listening to uplifting tapes, making sure we attend a home schooling seminar at least once a year, going to support group meetings mom's nights out with fellow home schoolers
We can encourage ourselves by encouraging someone else. I often get phone calls from other moms when I, myself, am discouraged. By the time I finish giving the other person a pep talk, I often feel better. Hebrews 3: 13 tells us, " Encourage one another daily."
We can choose to be joyful. Joy is a choice, just as is unhappiness. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 says, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It is a well-known phenomenon that we can't praise God and complain at the same time. When we complain, we are telling God we don't like the job he is doing. So instead of raising your hand to shake your fist at God, try raising your hands to praise Him.
We can remember that no decision about home schooling is SO urgent that it must be made today, whether that is a decision to send a child to school, to withdraw a child from school, to change curriculum or approach. Don't make major changes rashly. Pray about them, talk them over with your spouse, sleep on them, consult with a trusted friend.
We can make sure WE are getting adequate support and socialization. When someone asks me the big question, "What about socialization?" I usually respond as if they were referring to me and mention that I try to get out as often as I can to fellowship with like minded friends. It is amazing that the struggles of home schoolers are remarkably similar. It is such a blessing to know that you are not the only one having problems.
We can look for, ask for, and pray for HELP. You are not a failure if you send a child off to a playgroup once a week so you can get some relief, or some time to spend with your older children. It is not a sign of weakness to get a babysitter (within reason) to help you whenever you can.

The world's answer to discouragement is to GO OUT TO FIND YOURSELF. Get a job, find something meaningful to do. Real meaning in our lives can only be found when we turn into God, not venturing out to seek a shallow substitute. If we look for that substitute by farming our children out to others, we will miss the blessing of teaching and training them and will deprive ourselves of ever finding true fulfillment.

God doesn't ask us to do more than we can do. Philippians 4: 19 promises us, "God will meet all your needs, according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." According to his riches, not our desires or wants of the moment.

Isaiah 58:11 says, "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

Are you a well-watered garden? In seeking to avoid discouragement, take stock of your roots. What are the strengths and anchors in place in your life, such as membership in a Bible believing, healthy church and fellowship with fellow home schoolers?

What are your leaves, your protection, nourishment, and vitality? Psalm 59:17 says, "You, O God, are my fortress, my loving God." Do we look to God as our stronghold, the God who loves us completely and faithfully?

The Lord who will strengthen you will give you blossoms. Your hope, your fruit, your joy will be in the form of a warm, loving, faithful family and raising children committed to Christ.