Imagine I'm playing baseball and I've come up to bat. And there on the mound ahead of me is one of the toughest pitchers I've ever faced.

I wonder what would happen if I did this.

I walk over to the pitcher, doff my cap ever so politely to him, and I say, "Excuse me, but would you mind not throwing me anything too fast? I want to score plenty of runs today. What about nothing faster than 60mph? No, let's make it
fifty.

"And I'd be grateful if you didn't throw me any of your curve balls, either. Or any of those sliders that I've had so much trouble with. And definitely no bean balls, thanks!

"In fact, what I'd really like you to throw me is some nice gentle dolly-droppers that I can whack over the fence. Would that be alright?"

Of course it wouldn't be alright!

Baseball's not like that. Nor is parenting.

Whatever we may have learned from our society or culture, the biological fact is that our children want what they want, the same as we want what *we* want. And, in trying to get what they want, our children are going to use whatever is in their repertoire at the time. The same as we do in trying to satisfy our own desires.

If I'm at the bat looking for a safe hit or an occasional home run, I'm perfectly aware that the pitcher is looking for a way to get me out - and he'll be trying his hardest to do it, too, if he's got any sense. It goes with the game.

My success is up to me. That means I have to pay attention to what *I* need to do in order to get what I want. In other words, my focus has to be on developing, using and constantly improving my batting skills.

Then I can confidently allow the pitcher to do whatever the pitcher does.

© Copyright (c) 2002, Bob Collier Family Content

Credits: Bob Collier

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