The following is a selection from the book Raising Children Who Think For Themselves by Dr. Eisa Medhus. From the chapter titled "Specific Child Rearing Challenges - How to Handle Them to Encourage Self-Direction", the following introduction is offered.

"The best way to make children good is to make them happy." - Oscar Wilde

Here are some inner-directed suggestions that will help with some of the most trying child-rearing difficulties we may stumble upon. All of these approaches are designed to preserve your children's ability to rely on internal dialogue instead of external influences to assess and correct their behavior. Using this section as a ready reference will help you raise a self-directed child, even if it means carrying the book, tattered and tear-stained, to the market, in the car, or at home. There are some challenges that, I hope you will never have to face, but others will be as inevitable as a pimple on prom night.

To get to self-direction, there are a few universal caveats for every one of the situations that follow. First, our children need to understand and agree with both the need for the furl and the consequence for breaking it. Only when they come to agree with our rules, through their own internal dialogue, will they become self-directed. Second, look to your own parenting strategy as the possible source of some of the problem. Are you over-controlling or over-protective? Either trait can elicit an externally directed response, as your children react to an unhealthy situation. Third, remember for all these parenting challenges how important it is for you as parents, to model the right behavior. If you're expecting your children to act one way and you act another, the double standard will throw a monkey wrench into their whole internal dialogue machinery.

And lastly, don't forget to laugh.

Begging

Why they do it

Some kids know that if they beg long enough and in a voice that would make the cat lose all of its fur, they'll get their way.

Logical consequences

It's important that you don't take on the sense of urgency that your children create when they beg. "Ho hum" should be your attitude here. Many consequences will work well. For instance, if your children beg to go to the park when you've already told them you have a meeting to attend, that's it for their park-going days for a week.

It also helps to send them from the room you're in. You don't have to be subjected to the irritation. They can be annoying in their own space.

If you offer them some treat, and they beg for something better, the original offer becomes null and void.

Solutions toward self-direction

Unless it's obvious, give them an explanation for not acceding to their wishes. This information is important for them to generate the necessary internal dialogue in the future.

Using questions can help them develop this internal dialogue: "What are the rules about begging?" "Why do you think we have that rule?" "How can you handle things differently next time?"

Use impartial descriptions and information: "Begging is the one sure way people will not get what they want, in our family."

Use choices: "When you stop begging, then I can listen to whatever reasonable grounds you think you may have for getting what you want."

Use humor: "Uh-oh! I think I hear the begging police" (make police care siren sounds-don't worry, it gets better with practice, then say the following in a serious, authoritative voice): "Pull over lady. I have a report from neighbors of a violation of the penal code 246.7 for incessant begging. Are you aware of your rights?"