Hello to all....

My name is Steve Loftin, and I was adopted at the ripe old age of 2 days, from Saint Anthony's Hospital, Oklahoma City, 1973.

Does it bother me that I am adopted? No...

I have read, over and over, the comments of adult adoptees who are disgruntled, bitter, or apparently just closed-minded about the circumstances of their lives.

I have read numerous letters from sad parents of adopted children, and of mothers who put a child up for adoption. They have been ridiculed, either by their own adopted children, or by the adopted children of others.

These letters lash out about pitiful circumstances, unfair choices, and terrible parents that put a helpless child up for adoption. The letters, understandably, come from people who are confused, and maybe completely uninformed of "Why" they were put up for adoption. However, many are very, very selfish letters that make many innocent mothers cringe against the idea of ever admitting having put any child up for adoption. Do I know for sure why I was put up for adoption? No... Do I care? Of course I'd like to know, but if I don't find out... so what.... I'm here and wasn't aborted, so I know she loved me that much.

I was informed, by my "parents" (and they are my parents, biological or not), from a very early age about the fact that I was adopted. I have grown and formed "my own opinions", over the years, with an open mind. I realize that I can never fully understand the circumstances of why my biological mother made her choice, but I have to give her the benefit of the doubt, simply for the fact that I "do not know" the circumstances.

I have come to realize that "she" (my biological mother) has every day of her life to wonder if she did the right thing. There cannot be a day that goes by that any mother doesn't think about the child she let go. It's common sense people. But they didn't hate you, and they darn sure miss you.

Don't get me wrong, a few mothers were not good and may have caused the situation to happen through bad lifestyles and choices, but that is only a percentage, of which numbers we could not possibly know.

Do I regret the fact that I am adopted? Absolutely not. I have had a life with both good and bad aspects (primarily good - assuming a positive attitude). I love my adoptive parents more than anything on this earth. I owe them for a wonderful life full of choice, good teachings, and much effort on their part. Without adoption, most adoptive parents could not know the beauty of having their own children, even the ones that seem to be negative about the whole topic.

Life is what we make of it, and if you have parents (that you can call yours), it does not matter if they produced you from their genes or not. Many people do not have parents at all, and never will.

As for the biological mother, be thankful that she gave you the chance at any life, instead of making you an abortion statistic.

Stop feeling sorry for yourselves and be thankful for a change. Don't create a stir just because you feel you are in a unique situation that is different than most others.

In reality, you would be surprised at how many people around you are adopted. I've met so many just from talking openly about the subject. The looks on some people's faces when they find out that I am adopted, just like they are, is priceless. You are not in a small group, you are not different than children who were not adopted, you were not thrown away, were not rejected, and you were not any more of an accident than most kids were with their natural parents.

So, tuck in that lower lip, raise your head, stop pouting, and have a good life, or at least the best that you can make of it on your own two feet. You can't turn back time, what's done is done, and somebody gives a rat's *** about you or you wouldn't be here or there.

To finish.... I want to apologize (on behalf of all those who are SO negative) to all of the birthmothers who made the sacrifices of 9 months, intensive labor, and love. You made a choice that was not easy, is still not easy, and may not get any easier. But, you are not bad for what you chose to do. Some of us do understand the torment you must have endured, and the many times you may have wished you could turn back time, as well. Many of us have had wonderful lives, wonderful parents, and would not have it any other way. Many of you made the right choice, even if it still hurts your heart. I hope your lives have been as rewarding as mine and that you have moved on with your lives, never letting your past choices decide what you did in the days that followed, unless in a positive, character building offensive.

"A family is a family. It doesn't matter how it comes to us. It's all a miracle." - Unknown

Steve Loftin

Conway, Arkansas