Just about everyone has all but given up on David. His teachers, have become tired of the 15-year-old's poor work habits. His soccer coach doesn't understand the teen's recent who cares attitude. David's parents, meanwhile, are fed up with their son's overall lack of effort and enthusiasm. Saddest of all, David seems to not think very much of himself these days.
For any parent who has a David in his or her own life, it's important to realize that the teenager described above is not bad. Rather, he's a young person who is discouraged.
A discouraged teenager is someone who doesn't feel adequate. A self-proclaimed failure, the discouraged youth believes he or she cannot cope with life's challenges. Success is for others.
If the bad news is that there are an awful lot of teenagers like David around, the good news is that with understanding and patience, parents and others who deal with teens can help young people improve their self-esteem.
The best way a parent can help get a dispirited child back on track is to stop behaving in ways that can create discouragement and begin a conscientious program of encouragement.
In practice, that means that as a parent, you're going to stop admonishing your kids whenever they don't live up to your expectations. It also means an end to overt criticism and subtle put-downs.
Instead, as an encouraging parent, you'll begin to act in ways that will show your teenager that you have confidence in his ability, respect for him as a unique and individual person and faith in his judgment.
As an encouraging, parent, you'll begin using phrases like I know you'll do your best or Say, you're making real progress on that project. And the next time your daughter comes home with a C- in French, you'll congratulate her on what she got right as opposed to berating her for what she got wrong.
As you practice being an encourager, keep in mind that it your teen didn't become discouraged overnight. Just so, it will take some time for your son or daughter to develop the confidence and sense of self worth that is the foundation of a successful life.

Credits: Algoma Family Services