Celebrate as Kids
Question: My brothers see the 4th of July as a time for loud (and illegal) fireworks, too much beer, and dirty jokes. This is not what we want for our kids, and we're trying to figure out how to make it a special time without falling into these family patterns that have made holidays unpleasant for us in the past.
Answer: You've taken an important step just by recognizing that you don't want to repeat some of your family's patterns and that you want to create some new traditions for you and your children. You didn't mention your children's ages, but as you think about holiday plans keep in mind that kids of any age value time when their parents step out of their work-day roles and join them in play. One of my fonder childhood memories is of my grandfather taking me to the 4th of July festivities in his tiny hometown in southern Iowa. Every year we'd gather at his house and ride in his pickup truck to the little street carnival around the town square. We'd eat foods that I never ate on ordinary days, he'd proudly introduce me to all his buddies in front of the courthouse, and--best of all--he would go with me on every ride, from the pokey old merry-go-round to the thrilling Tilt-a-Whirl. Year after year I'd end the day sitting on the same worn old blanket, snuggled in my grandpa's arms, oohing and aahing together over the fireworks. Two things are especially important to me as I look back on those holidays: the fact my grandpa really played with me, and the fact that we did the same things year after year -- a real tradition.
When I grew up and had children, their grandparents were many miles away and there was no street carnival to seduce us with its wild rides. But, in our urban neighborhood filled with young families, we created our own silly and wonderful 4th of July tradition. With balloons and crepe paper we decorated every trike, bike and stroller on the block. Then we blasted marching music from a boombox and had a great parade. My kids and I will always remember the uninhibited dad who showed up each year in a raincoat, flippers, and a goofy hat, banging two garbage can lids as huge cymbals.
So, on this 4th of July, try to see through your children's eyes. Look for the wholesome fun in the ordinary things around you, and see where that takes you. If possible, join other families who are looking to create new traditions. And, while you're at it, pull out the flag and introduce your kids to the special meaning of this holiday. Celebrate together the precious liberties that are yours and mine.
Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
