Close Contact Sport

Joe Stefano was enjoying his first season playing soccer - even though, at 10 years of age, he was two years younger than most of the other boys and he often got a little overwhelmed by the speed of the game. Still, his coach thought he had the makings of a good player. Joe's parents, Marty and Felicia Stefano, were initially surprised when the coach came to them and said he was interested in taking Joe to an advanced training camp for the weekend.

The coach, Terry Spanoff, told Joe's parents he thought Joe had the potential to become a talented soccer player. Marty and Felicia confessed to not seeing the same potential; however, they thought the 37-year-old soccer coach must have known what he was talking about. While they were thrilled for their son and thought the opportunity may never come again, they had to say no because of financial difficulties.

Spanoff persisted. He offered to pay the fees himself - again declaring that the boy had immense talent and it would be a waste for him not to attend the training camp. Again, the Stefano family declined the seemingly generous offer. And, again, Spanoff persisted.

Marty and Felicia Stefano declined through lack of money, concerns about their son being away from home for the first time, and even questions about chaperones. At each point, Spanoff refused to hear 'no' and he had a solution to every concern.

Joe Stefano eventually went away for the weekend with Terry Spanoff. There was no soccer camp. Instead, Joe spent a weekend with the 37-year-old child predator in a cabin, 45 miles from his parents' home, where he was sexually abused.

In a previous article, I stated that professions don't commit crimes...people do. That's a valuable lesson. It's often how a person lives - not what they do for a living - that determines their conduct.

Thousands of children are physically and sexually abused every year in this country by sports coaches. The following guidelines will help you minimize the risk of your child becoming a victim of a predatory coach.

Safety Tips

· Interview your child's coach and make certain that you feel comfortable with your choice. Be sure to trust your intuition.
· Provide the coach with a list of your rules regarding the welfare of your child (including discipline).
· Communicate to the coach that at no time should your child be placed in a dangerous or precarious situation - having regard for his or her sexual and physical welfare.
· Tell your coach that any changes to training or events should be communicated to you directly (in person, in writing, or by telephone).
· Provide the coach with a list of all your contact numbers and addresses.
· Ask the coach to provide verification that he/she has never been charged with offenses against children (the company or individual should conform to U.S. Department of Justice Guidelines for the Screening of Persons Working with Children).
· Ask your coach - or the association - what policies or procedures are in place for any emergency situations (acts of violence, storms, earthquakes, fires, etc.).
· Explain that should your child ever be injured (at training or during an event) you should be notified immediately.
· Inform the coach that you wish to be notified - and to provide permission - before your child is taken on any excursion, trip, or training exercise.
· Inform the coach that at no time should your child be alone in the company of an adult (coach, manager, or other parent) without your express permission and knowledge.

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