Deserted
I was born 9 weeks early weighing a mere 3.14 lbs in 1956. My birth mother was not married at the time however was involved with my birth father who was married with another child. When I arrived, they decided they could not take care of me and there I stayed for 6 weeks. I was then placed in 3 other foster homes before being adopted at the age of 2 and a half.
I know what it feels like to feel like you don't fit in. You cannot compare what you eat, your likes or dislikes with your adoptive family because what you have inherited is not from your new family. I grew up wondering who I looked like, what their likes or dislikes were, and did I have other brothers or sisters? As it turns out, my birth mother and birth father had another girl in 1958 and gave her up for adoption as well. She was placed in another home and to this day I have not been able to locate her. I have her birth name as well as adoptive name, which I received from the CAS as they could not locate her either after waiting for a search the Toronto CAS would provide after a lengthy waiting period.
Through another organization, I was able to locate my birth mother, and in front of us she was in denial that she had had us and gave us up. Well, we found out why: my birth mother and father eventually married and had 4 more children which they kept. My sister and I are like these creatures that you hide in the closet and don't talk about. I tried contacting my youngest brother, and my birth mother contacted him first, and I was told in a profound manner to get lost and to stop bothering them. I have never contacted them since but I know that my birth mother lives locally. Unfortunately, I found out my birth father passed away when I was in my teenage years, and I was told by his sister that he never got over giving us up. However, the 50's were a lot different than today. I might sound bitter, but I don't understand how people can do this, its like we are animals, oh well just give them away, instead of being strong about it and giving it your all.
My first husband left me when I was pregnant with our daughter. I never dreamed of giving up my child, and even though after remarrying and having 2 other children never hid anything from my daughter. My second husband adopted her when she was 2; funny how things evolve. Now that our daughter is married with 3 children of her own, I could not imagine not having her in my life. This little bundle of life is what kept me going when I needed it the most. My grandchildren I can say are mine, and I would not trade that for the world. The only piece missing from my puzzle now is my sister.
