Dump The Baby
More and more States are passing what they refer to as Baby Dumping laws. I strongly disagree with this whole concept for several reasons.
I think they are a pacifer to avoid more serious issues. We live, regrettably, in a throw away or bandaid society. Just make it look good and ignore the real problems.
I feel these 'laws' are designed for neither bmoms nor adoptees. They are for AGENCY protection. It is common knowledge that most people on both sides are now preferring open adoptions. The reason I feel so many bmoms of the past went through so much pain is we had NO counseling. We were told to just go on with our
lives and forget it ever happened. Having no one
explan all these feelings we had was what drove us
whacky. The subject was taboo so many of us thought we were nuts and alone in our unresolved grief.
Adoptees too were confused. It was thought that only an ingrate would seek their original family. They are now realizing this too is normal.
However, open adoption means agencies can no longer lie. They cannot create 'histories' and make every baby seem to come from a perfect bmom. For example, I cannot count the number of reunited families where the aparents were given false information about their child's background. Many people were told the bmom was 'an intellegent college student' when they were simply young high school girls forced by society to relinquish. Little to no medical background was gathered nor shared.
With these 'dumped babies' there will be no records to open later. Agencies have, on occasion, been sued for not letting parents know of family histories of physical and/or mental problems. With these 'dumped' babies, there's no information to pass on, so they would be 'safe'. Who
is to say they could not arrange these 'dumps' when it came to placing a 'less than perfect' baby?
I think more money should be spent instead on
educating people on their choices. Adoption has NEVER been illegal. The option has just seemed to take a back burner.
We are guilty of not teaching responsibility to our children. Again... bandaid the issue and push birth control and abortion... much easier to deal with.
Just about every state, I am sure, has programs for poor women to get prenatal care. Those who do not are, I feel, child abusers. Of course they have to be drug-free to participate, as drug screening is mandatory in prenatal care. So we tell them "do what you want to these babies while you are pregnant and then
'dump' the newborn somewhere and get off scot free." This is giving mothers 'permission' to abuse their babies in utero.
This seems to me to be a real miscarriage of justice.
I don't believe that people who abandon babies are going to change just because it is 'okay'. There are basic issues of denial, distrust, and other circumstances that are at play here. More and better education is needed; counseling is needed; safe havens for the mothers are needed.
No one benefits from these laws but agencies and politicians. Adoptees of the future will have no recourse, nor will birthparents who may later decide to search. Maybe those who will benefit are starting to see that the gravy train is coming to a stop and past records are being opened so, rather than appearing to go against the tide of change, they came up with this 'scheme' to thwart them.
Lezli
Lezli Adams
AskBmom
found daughter Julie on 3/18/1999
born 10/10/1968 in Ohio
adopted in Indiana now in Texas
Leave no stone unturned.
