Taken from Growing Concerns -- A childrearing question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson

Question: Our son's second grade teacher seems to go crazy with a red pencil, marking every tiny mistake on his school papers but never pointing out anything positive. For example, with creative writing assignments she says she wants the kids to use their imagination, but then all she focuses on is the spelling and punctuation, which they haven't even been taught yet. This is the teacher's first year of teaching; her expectations are unrealistic and she doesn't realize how she's making the kids not even want to try. (We're not the only parents who are worried about this.) What's the best way to handle this without leading the teacher to hold a grudge against our son?

Answer: You're right to be concerned about this. Especially in the primary grades, children need lots of encouragement to express their ideas, as well as plenty of direct, step-by-step instruction in basic writing skills. It's still early in the school year, so hopefully you can encourage this new teacher to find a better way to bring out the best in her students. Here's what I suggest:

· When you see your son's papers, pay attention to the positives even if the teacher has not. Comment on his good ideas and ask him to tell you more about the subject. Notice how his printing is improving or how many words he spelled correctly.

· With regard to the spelling and punctuation errors the teacher marks, point out that the teacher is trying to show him the right way to do these new things. But also let him know you're proud of the way he tried to sound out words and write good sentences on his own. As he gets older and keeps practicing, his writing will get even better.

· If your son's school has scheduled parent-teacher conferences this fall, use that time to talk with the teacher about how she can encourage your son's learning. (If conferences are a long way off, call the teacher now for an appointment.) To avoid putting the teacher on the defensive, talk with her in a supportive way, pointing out some of the things you and your son appreciate about her. Then, acknowledging that you know she's new to teaching, express your concerns and say you think your son will learn better if she can point out what he's doing well on his assignments. Ask the teacher how you can be of help. Let her know you want to work with her to help your son develop these important skills - and keep his curiosity and motivation alive.

· If you don't get the response you want from the teacher, consider talking to the principal to suggest that this new teacher get some supervision and consultation. The teacher may have many strengths that can be brought to the forefront with the support and guidance of a more experienced teacher.

Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 3 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.

© 2002 by the Regents of the University of Minnesota