Your child's entering junior high school and you're probably both a little nervous. Multiple classes, numerous teachers, a larger school, more classmates, and a new location all loom as changes that can be overwhelming at first. Perhaps you have frightening images of increased peer pressure, violence, gangs, sexual experimentation, and alcohol and drug use. It seems like you're sending your baby into the proverbial lion's den. Will they survive? Will you?

Knowing what to expect can help. Body image and changes loom foremost in the childís thoughts and feelings. Few in this age group feel really comfortable with their bodies - they judge themselves harshly, comparing themselves to peers and media images. They feel too developed or too underdeveloped, but seldom just right. Puberty is just getting going, hormones are kicking in, and both body changes and mood fluctuations are rampant. As adults, we know that this too will pass, but your child doesn't have the benefit of this perspective. They tend to live moment to moment, and as their erratic, unpredictable mood swings and body changes occur, they feel powerless and frustrated.

Involvement with family and teachers may also be changing. While eleven-year-olds may tend to be quarrelsome, the twelve-year-old may start to be friendlier and more mellow. By thirteen, a marked tendency toward turning inward shows up. The new teen retreats to the bedroom, demanding privacy. The simplest question about what they're doing is met with some version of a sighed, "What's it to you?"

Relationships with peers are also changing. While eleven year olds may be more volatile especially in handling the ending of relationships, twelve year olds are branching out and having more harmonious relationships. The more immature may still express strong negative feelings about the opposite sex, but most show definite interest. Some want to start dating, even though the majority don't.

Ethical attitudes are easily influenced. Some exhibit bravado, but underneath struggle with right and wrong. Attitudes about cheating and stealing may become temporarily looser, with all the kids do it a common sentiment. But this is an age when you can have a profound positive influence on their values. They're know if you practice what you preach and can spot a hypocrite a mile away. Their opinions are often vehemently expressed - they either HATE! or LOVE! things, and you can be a subtle model of moderation. Much of their humor is in the form of insulting remarks and smutty humor is likely to relate to sex.

As a parent it's a time of stepping back, but not stepping out of the picture. It's crucial that you continue to monitor and subtly guide your child. You can provide opportunities for them to socialize with healthy peers. Encourage them to assertively choose their friends versus passively allowing others to choose them. Know who their friends are by inviting them to your home and along to structured social settings such as family gatherings or sporting events. With specific activities and invitations, your child is less likely to resort to watching MTV, playing endless videos, or just 'hanging out'.

The junior high student is likely to experiment and test limits in new ways. This may include alcohol and drug use. Though it won't provide much consolation to a worried parent, research has shown that students who engage in a few episodes of trying alcohol or drugs are actually more likely to have higher self esteem that both those who repeatedly use them and those who never once experiment.

Some junior highers do have serious problems. Signals of a problem warranting professional help include: repetitive physical violence, repeated vandalism, a preoccupation with or possession of weapons, theft, chronic truancy, repeated substance abuse, frequent lying about almost any issue, blaming others consistently even when caught in a wrongdoing, and association with peers who have these problems.

If you're worried about alcohol or drug abuse, watch for these signs: abrupt serious drop in grades, cutting school, personality change including rapid, loud talking, extreme oversleeping, a friend with a known drug problem, preoccupation with drug jewelry or drawings, unusual lying, stealing money, quitting usual activities.

Depressed junior highers may have problems with concentration, sleep, appetite, and weight. They may have decreased energy, be very sad, or express suicidal thoughts. They may self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. They may drop friends and activities. If you see these signs, talk with your child and a professional. Puberty is a difficult time and it's wise to reach out for guidance. Even without serious problems, some preteens find it helpful to talk to an understanding outsider. With the right tools, outlook and support, your child can blossom and enjoy these years.