Independence doesn't happen overnight. All girls spend many years learning to become independent adults. Parents can be too protective of their daughters, especially if their daughter has a disability or illness. When this happens, it's not that parents don't care-it's just the opposite. They care about you so much that they worry about you getting hurt.

While you are not an adult yet, it is important for you and your parents to understand that becoming independent takes a lifetime. It begins well before you are an adult and goes on through adulthood.

You can be independent even if you can't do everything for yourself. Sometimes we need help from a friend or family member to get things done. When you think about it, there are not many people who can do everything by themselves. Being independent is about making your own decisions and choices and about managing your own life.

If you think that your parents aren't letting you have enough independence, try to help them out in ways they'd appreciate. Show your parents that you can handle your illness or disability in a careful way. They will see that they can trust you to take care of yourself. They will also see that you are aware of what you can do and what you need help with. Your parents may realize that they don't have to worry about you quite so much (well, okay-they'll still worry, they'll just deal with it better!)

© From Young People and Chronic Illness: True Stories, Help, and Hope by Kelly Huegel. ©1998 Free Spirit Publishing, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.