Finding Your Roots

I am adopted myself, and we also adopted a son in 1983. I have found my birth siblings, with the help and blessing of my adopted mom and dad. It was and is one of the best things in my life. My mom and dad were killed in a car crash the night of my first birthday in 1955. I was adopted by my mom and dad at 22 months of age, after the agencies and relatives tried (some trying harder than others) to keep our natural family together.

We found my birth family by error of the Alberta Government Adoption Agency. In my opinion, it's too bad they didn't make more of these mistakes, so that people's records would be opened up.

As adoptees, we need roots as one of the other writers says. It's like a tree without roots. I didn't think I needed another family either, but, even though I wasn't really actively searching, it has been a grounding experience for me. I can also feel for those who have not found their birth families, as my adopted sister is in the same boat. I see how it causes her such pain not to have those questions answered about her own self!

Why is it that the government cannot at least divulge information about genetic health, etc.? It seems so cruel not to have those questions answered. Why is it that a birth mother's right takes presidence over the right of the now grown child?

I have an adopted son, and I would love for him to be able to meet his birth mom and dad and half sister, or any other relatives that he may have. Not that he or we expect anything from them, just the chance to perhaps get to know one another, to tell her what a great gift she gave us by allowing us to be a mom and dad to the son we share. It may ease her burden, assuming she still wonders how he is. We could let her know that although I will never know how hard her decision was, or how that affected her life, by meeting, we may all have a chance to learn and heal.

If it didn't work out the way we would hope, well, we could deal with that, too. Our son will never have siblings to share and bug. It would be nice if we could have the chance to meet the one half sister we know was with his mom when she had to give him up, since she was unable to provide for both babies.

We have told our son many times, "It wasn't because your mom didn't love you that she gave you up. It was because she loved you enough to want what was best for you, even though she could not provide for you. She loved you enough to have a mom and dad that would love and take care of you. She knew how much we wanted you."

If you're a birth mom that gave your son up 10/31/83 from Ladysmith Hospital in B.C. Canada, we (your son and his adoptive parents) would like to get to have the chance to meet you, if for no other reason but just to say thank you, or to have a bigger family to love.