First Mother's Day

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To my adoptive son Nicholas Gaio

It seems that I have waited for this my whole life. I have idealized all the aspects in the most variable ways, and even so, it's still better than the best of my dreams. The meaning of the words end up being very little... I remember the day that I met Nicholas. How surprised I was with his size. I think it wasn't his size but in fact the size of the step that I was about to take, the huge blessing that I was receiving, the fear of that moment and the future.

Everything was huge, even my heart has grown... Yes. It must have grown because I remembered that my whole body was pulsing and fast. Almost like when I first listen to the sound of an orchestra in a live concert.

That day that seemed endless, that sleepless night, the meals uneaten and left on the table... The image that I did not allow to leave from my eyes: my son.

I will never forget the moment that we became mother and son... the smooth touch from his little hand caressing my face, our fearful eyes blessed with a tear from my heart.

Today, this relationship is 10 months older, and we are very happy. My life has a whole new meaning and Nicholas' life does too. His eyes tell me every morning, that he is well and that he likes to be with me. For ever and ever, we are a family, but how good is feels to say this every single day. I am going there now, to open my arms and say to him: Come son, come with Mommy. He will then smile, open his little arms, run and throw himself into my arms. Ah! How wonderful this is!



Primeiro Dia das Mães
Para o meu filho adotivo Nicholas Gaio

Eu esperei por isso, acho que a minha vida inteira. Idealizei todos os aspectos das mais variadas maneiras e, mesmo assim, é melhor do que o melhor dos meus sonhos. O significado das palavras acaba ficando pequeno... Me lembro do dia em que conheci o Nicholas. O susto que levei com o seu tamanho.

Acho que o tamanho não era dele e sim do enorme passo que eu estava para dar, a enorme benção que eu estava recebendo, o medo do instante e do futuro. Tudo era grande, até o meu coração crescera... Sim, deve ter crescido porque eu me lembro que meu corpo inteiro pulsava, e muito.

Quase igual a quando ouvi, pela primeira vez, uma orquestra sinfônica tocando ao vivo. Aquele dia que parecia não acabar, aquela noite não dormida, as refeições que ficaram na mesa... A imagem que eu não permitia que saisse dos meus olhos: meu filho. Não vou me esquecer nunca do momento em que nos tornamos mãe e filho... o toque suave da mãozinha dele acariciando o meu rosto, os nossos olhares assustados benzidos com a lágrima do meu coração.

Hoje, estamos 10 meses mais velhos nessa relação, e muito felizes. A minha vida tem outra significância e a do Nicholas também. O seu olhar maroto me diz, todas as manhãs, que ele está bem e que gosta de estar comigo. Para todo o sempre somos uma família, mas como é bom dizer isso todos os dias!

Vou lá agora, abrir os braços e dizer prá ele: vem filho, vem com a mamãe. Então, ele vai sorrir, abrir os bracinhos, correr e se jogar em meus braços. Ah! Como é bom!
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