Taken from Growing Concerns -- A parenting question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson

Question: On Saturdays I take our 3-year-old grocery shopping while my wife has some time to herself. These shopping trips seem to turn into begging and whining sessions: Our son asks for everything he sees, and I end up giving in just to avoid a big scene in the store. How can I get out of this pattern?

Answer: Grocery shopping with a young child can be challenging for both parent and child. For a 3-year-old, a grocery store may be really overstimulating, with so many brightly colored, appealing, appetizing things within arm's reach. Young children want things right this minute, with little sense of the need to wait until later or to limit what they can have. Often parents are feeling rushed, wanting to get the shopping done as quickly and efficiently as possible, and that may make the child even more excitable.

You've already figured out that giving in to your son's begging and whining is not working well for you. That just teaches him that begging and whining are the way to get what he wants. Other parents who have faced similar challenges suggest some things you might try to make grocery shopping calmer and more enjoyable for you and your child.

Be careful to plan your shopping trip for a time when your child is not hungry or overtired.

Talk with your son ahead of time about what you expect on the shopping trip, clearly stating what he may and may not have. You may want to tell him that if he helps you get the shopping done, you'll have time for a story, a game or a trip to the park afterward.

Let your child choose one treat as soon as you arrive at the store, something that he can eat in the grocery cart while you finish shopping. (It really is asking a lot of a 3-year-old to be exposed to all those goodies and not be allowed to have anything!)

Try making a game out of shopping, perhaps asking your child to let you know as soon as he spots a green bottle or a blue box. Or you might let him take along a product picture from a magazine and then try to find the object in the store that matches the picture. Giving your child something to focus on can help him to be calmer and more patient while he rides in the cart and "helps" you pick out the groceries.

Editor's note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. You may fax them to (612) 624-6369 or send them to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.