Taken from Growing Concerns -- A childrearing question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson

Question: My son, who just started 5th grade, is bringing home a lot of homework and already seems overwhelmed. He's smart, but not organized and becomes easily frustrated and gives up. I want him to get off to a good start this year, but I know he needs to develop independent work skills, and I'm unsure how much help to give him at this age.

Answer: You are wise to be cautious about giving your son too much help. However, parents play a significant role in helping children develop skills and behaviors to manage their work. There are several steps you can take to support your son's learning without undermining his independence:

· Help your son develop a personal homework strategy. Engage him in figuring out when, where, and how he works best. For example, some children work best at a desk in a quiet place, while others work well sitting on the floor with quiet music in the background. Before diving into their work, some kids benefit from an after-school break (e.g. a nap, a snack, or time to go for a bike ride). But others do best if they do their homework right after school and then relax in the evening. There's no one right way to go about homework, and your son is more likely to succeed if he perceives that he has choices.

· Help your son set up a system for organizing his assignments and materials. Perhaps an "in" and "out" box on a kitchen counter will help him organize his papers and keep track of what he has completed. Or get a notebook, dividers and a three-hole punch to organize assignments. Develop a routine of looking over his assignments when he first comes home from school and reviewing the work together when he's done. Encourage him to organize his backpack in the evening so it will be ready to take to school in the morning.

· Maintain a good study environment at home. Make sure your own family activities do not inadvertently interfere with your son's studies. Set aside a quiet space in the house during homework time. Or consider designating a quiet time for the whole family to read and study, turning off the phone and the television for an hour or two.

· Be available to help your child when he gets stuck, but try to help by asking questions rather than giving answers. Use questions to help your son break down difficult tasks into small, manageable chunks. For example, if he's overwhelmed thinking about writing an essay, ask him, "What is the main topic or purpose of your essay?" and suggest he start by writing just one paragraph to answer that question.

· Stay in touch with your child's teachers and know their expectations and policies. Let the teachers know how you are helping your son develop better organizational skills, and encourage them to reinforce your efforts and keep you posted about your son's progress. If you see that your son doesn't understand the material he's being assigned, ask that he get special help from his teacher. Homework should be used to help children practice and integrate knowledge and skills they've been taught at school. It should not require that parents teach their children new, complex skills.

Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 3 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.

© 2002 by the Regents of the University of Minnesota