One evening, eight-year-old Laura tearfully confided to her mother, Isobel, that the other girls in her class did not seem to want to play with her. They excluded Laura from recess games and never invited her to participate in after-school activities. Concerned that Laura was being victimized, Isobel placed a call to Mrs. Adams, her daughter's teacher.

What Isobel discovered was that the victimizer was her own child. "I'm not surprised Laura is having difficulty making friends," said Mrs. Adams. "Laura is very aggressive with the other children. She often says hurtful things and I've seen her push the other kids. Many of the other girls are afraid of her."

Discovering that a son or daughter is having difficulty establishing positive peer relationships can be unsettling. Not only do parents want their children to be popular, but also they often find that their efforts to get children to change how they behave with others are unsuccessful.

That said, it's a fact that persistence and love can do much to affect change.
Isobel certainly believes that. After realizing her daughter's difficulty, Isobel began to pay close attention to Laura's behaviour. She then talked to her child about how to get along with others and together they discussed ways Laura could behave less aggressively.

In partnership with Mrs. Adams, Isobel also worked to help Laura develop a better self-image, the root, both women agreed, of Laura's troubles. At every opportunity, they praised Laura's actions and encouraged her to be more open about herself.
Additionally, Isobel enrolled Laura in Brownies, an organization that is non-competitive and which emphasizes working together.

Isobel is also teaching Laura to be her own best friend. Accepting and loving oneself and having pride in one's own achievements, Laura is learning, is the first step toward making friends with others.

© Algoma Family Services