Holidays on a Budget
Question: Our kids (ages 8 and 10) already are talking excitedly about all the things they want for Christmas. I've recently cut back to part-time work to have more time with my kids, but that means we have a tighter holiday budget than ever before. How can we put the brakes on the kids' demands without spoiling their excitement?
Answer: It's good that youíre asking this question early. You still have plenty of time to engage your children in planning with you how to make this a wonderful holiday season for the whole family. A first step is to be straightforward and clear about your budget constraints, explaining that you made a choice that time together is more important than the extra income from your full-time job. Although the kids may not like the immediate consequences of your choice, in the long run they will appreciate your commitment to them.
Then, let the kids know what they realistically can expect in terms of gifts this year. It's a good learning experience for children to go through catalogs and dream--then trim their wish list down to what's realistic. They might choose additional items to work for, saving a portion of their weekly allowance or doing extra chores to earn money over the next few months. This helps children learn to delay gratification and understand the value of the things they want. It's hard to take things for granted when you've worked and saved for them.
In our materialistic society, the gift list sometimes seems to be as far as the holiday spirit goes. So it's up to us parents to help our children learn about the deeper meaning of the season. Capitalizing on the added time you now have with your children, think about low-cost activities you can do with family and friends. Sledding and skating are great winter fun. Or for a new way to explore the outdoors, check out the inexpensive rental of snow-shoes or cross-country skis at some of the city parks. Children's museums or art centers usually are affordable and some even offer free admission one day each week. And of course public libraries offer all kinds of interesting activities for children and families, especially during the holiday break. If possible, get together and create your own special times with other families who are trying to make the holidays less commercial. Make decorations, bake cookies, play board games, or engage in a lively game of charades, acting out names of Christmas carols or favorite movies--whatever sounds like fun to you and the kids.
Most important of all, keep in mind that the holidays are a time to help your children focus on the needs of others--a time to emphasize giving rather than receiving. Through local service agencies or communities of faith, seek out opportunities for your family to work together as volunteers. Go through your closets, toy boxes and book shelves to find items your children have outgrown or no longer use. Together, deliver those items to a local shelter. Seeing a child who is grateful for a warm coat will give your children a new perspective on their own Christmas wish list.
Through all of these activities, you will be teaching your children powerful lessons and values that will last a lifetime. Your children may not realize it for a while, but this is a more valuable gift than all the toys in the Christmas catalog.
Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
