How to Select a Sitter

Most parents wouldn't walk away and leave their children in the care of a complete stranger at the park or the shopping center. So, why do it at home? A babysitter is, in simple terms, a person applying for the job of caring for your children.

To ensure the safety of your children in your own home, you don't have to install video surveillance (which is a reactive not a proactive strategy, and often only implemented after parents have suspicions of abuse) or rely on family and friends to attend to the babysitting duties (which, unfortunately, can be just as dangerous).

Here are 10 questions you can ask a prospective babysitter or nanny to ensure that they can be trusted with your children.

Q. What is your attitude toward discipline?
It is very important to establish a babysitter's opinion on discipline before you leave her with your children. This will also provide you with an opportunity to advise the babysitter or your rules governing discipline.

Q. What method of discipline did your parents use?
Discipline is generally cyclical, so one can safely assume the discipline used on the babysitter will be the type she will apply.

Q. Do you have any children of your own, and, if so, how do you discipline them?
There are many pluses to a babysitter who is also a parent. However, don't accept that because a person has her own children, she will necessarily be a good caregiver.

Q. Why do you do this work?
There are many answers to this question and none of them are right or wrong. The secret is that the answer will trigger a response from your intuition.

Q. Have you ever suspected that a child in your care was being sexually or physically abused?
Physical and sexual abuse is a parent's number one concern when handing over the responsibility of a child's welfare to a caregiver. The thing to look for in response to this question is how the person answers the question - not what they say. It is important that your babysitter is a skilled caregiver and aware of what constitutes proper care and what constitutes abuse.

Q. What is your attitude toward drugs and alcohol?
While you can almost guarantee what the response to this question will be, it is another way of obtaining an opinion from the babysitter and letting the babysitter know your beliefs regarding alcohol and drugs.

Q. Have you ever been in an emergency situation, and how did you respond?
This will give you an idea of how the babysitter will react to certain situations. For example, if the babysitter indicates that she just falls apart in an emergency, you know that this isn't the right person for the job of caring for your children.

Q. Describe the best child you ever cared for?
This question can reveal a significant amount about the babysitter. Listen intently to the words used to describe the child.

Q. Describe the worst child you ever cared for?
Here is the clincher. If the babysitter can go on ad nauseam about the worst child she ever cared for, you know you are in trouble. Ask a secondary question: "Could you have used a different strategy in caring for that child?" The answer will reveal a lot about the personal code of the sitter.

Q. Describe a problem in your life that you overcame?
This will provide an excellent insight into the babysitter's personal philosophies and her ability to respond well to certain situations.

Safety Tips

· Provide your babysitter or nanny with a comprehensive list of house rules.
· Advise your babysitter not to allow anyone into the home.
· Advise your babysitter that boyfriends and girlfriends are not permitted in your home.
· Make the babysitter aware of the location of all telephones and doors in the house.
· Ensure that the house is fully secure before you leave.
· Leave emergency contact numbers.
· Provide the address and telephone number of the place where you will be.

Interview Techniques

· Make the applicant feel comfortable.
· Start the interview by having the applicant tell you a few things about herself.
· Don't make the questions appear too clinical.
· After the applicant has answered a question, allow a lengthy pause (to entice the applicant to make further comments - this process is known as silent soliciting).
· Watch the applicant's body language in response to your questions. Often, it's not what they say but how they say it that is important.
· Show empathy, as if you are agreeing with what has been said.
· Avoid telephone interviews. You will need to see the person who will be charged with the responsibility of caring for your children. Seeing a person also allows greater access to your intuition.

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