How to Help Children Entertain Themselves

Taken from Growing Concerns -- A childrearing question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson

Question: I took this summer off work so I could stay home with my two children (7 and 8 years old) and give them a chance to have an unstructured summer, but now I'm thinking it was a mistake. It seems that the kids don't have a clue what to do with their free time unless an adult (me!) provides direction or takes them on major, expensive outings. How can I help them learn to entertain themselves?

Answer: Although going from the busy weeks of the school year to a carefree, unplanned summer probably sounds wonderful to many adults, young children may find it overwhelming. Children's sense of time is less developed, so the days and weeks can loom large. They often feel more comfortable if they have markers throughout the day or week. For example, knowing that you're going to the park at one o'clock can make the unstructured morning seem much more manageable (and even fun). Or knowing that Wednesday is library day and Saturday is baseball-with-dad day can help break the week into more "chewable chunks."

Children often like to have a visual image of the day and week ahead, so you might engage them in creating a daily calendar that shows what's in store for them. To give them a greater sense of control of their own activities, let them help choose and schedule the week's big events, such as play dates with friends, a trip to the library (no charge), or, if the budget allows, a visit to a zoo, museum or sporting event.

Young children also may need a kick-start and a little encouragement to get their creative juices flowing. You might be surprised at what they can come up with if you challenge them to pretend they're stranded on a desert island and brainstorm all the ways they can entertain themselves while they wait to be rescued. (You can be their rescuer when you call them to lunch.) Or suggest that each child hide a "treasure" somewhere in the house and give the other written clues in words or pictures, then see how quickly each child can find the treasure. Or encourage them to choose books from the library that they can use as the basis for acting out stories or creating a sidewalk mural with colored chalk. (You and dad can be the appreciative audience at the end of the day, of course.) For each idea you suggest, encourage the children to come up with two more on their own--then praise their creativity and growing self-direction.

Remember too that nothing is more important in your young children's lives than the time they have with you. Although it's good for your children to learn to entertain themselves for reasonable periods of time, the time you spend playing, reading, and exploring with them is an invaluable gift to them and you. The memories you build together during these remaining days of summer will be with you and your children forever.

Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.

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