I had some resentments, embarrassment, shame and hurt feelings about being illegitimate and having been given up. I also had the normal parental resentments about being 'controlled' and 'not fairly treated' which I held on to til I did a personal development course (the Landmark Forum) and gave up those feelings. I also heard stories of people who had grown up in situations MUCH worse than I and saw how good I'd had it.
My adoptive mother asked me if I had any interest in finding my biological parents and I said "No. You're my parents" and I stayed with that belief until both of them passed away and my first marriage ended.
At that point (20 years ago) my adoption agency provided me with some (non identifying) info about my parents. Subsequently, I found my biological father, his sister and her adult children. Just recently I found my biological mother's other children (by a different man that she married after giving me up.) I had a great life. I wish I'd gotten a chance to meet my biological mother, but with my recent reunion with her siblings and other children, I was able to feel quite complete about the whole thing.
I have no bitter feelings about either my adoptive or biological parents. Just be honest, loving and supportive with your child. While we have issues to deal with, we don't all turn out messed up.
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