Kids Scared by Kidnapping News
Question: Our children have been terribly distressed lately by the news stories about kids being kidnapped or murdered. Actually, we are distressed too! What can we do to help our kids feel safer?
Answer: Many parents are expressing this same concern in light of recent violent crimes that have captured so much attention in the news. It is sad and frustrating to see our children lose their innocence at such a tender age. The children's fears are real, and there is no quick fix to make them go away. But there are a few things you can do to help your children cope with these emotions and begin to feel more secure.
First, it is important to acknowledge your children's feelings. Give your children a hug and say, "Yes, these are very scary things to hear about." Dismissing the fear will not make it go away!
Second, try to limit young children's exposure to these stories by turning off the TV and keeping your conversation about such crimes to a minimum. This is not to say that children should not hear about these crimes at all. But the media attention to these cases, especially the constant repetition of the stories on radio and TV, often magnifies their frightfulness for children and parents alike.
In a calm and supportive manner, assure your children that you are there to help keep them safe. In simple and concrete terms, tell them and show them how you will keep them safe--at home and elsewhere. Explain the locks on the doors and windows of your house, teach your kids to use the telephone in an emergency, stay close to them at the shopping mall and arrange for a mature, trusted sitter when you cannot be with them.
Teach your children from a very early age the basics of what to do and what not to do with strangers--or even with familiar people who do something that makes a child uncomfortable. Although children cannot and should not be held responsible for their own safety, they can be taught some simple steps that will help them be less vulnerable.
Finally, we all need to work together to create a safer community for all of our children. Join with your neighbors, your church, your school--anyone who cares--to figure out how to create a safety net for the children in your community. Communication and connectedness are keys to creating a safe place for us all. It is up to each of us to reach out and make a difference.
Editor's note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. You may fax them to (612) 624-6369 or send them to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
