Longing for a Daughter

Our longing for a daughter began the first week we were married. During our honeymoon, I had a dream about having a beautiful baby girl and just assumed that it was an omen of things to come. As the years progressed, we were blessed with three healthy boys. During each pregnancy, I was convinced that this was my little girl, but was told each time that I had a healthy baby boy. After the birth of Aaron, my youngest, I told my husband that this was the last child I was going to deliver and began the formidable task of raising my three very active boys.

In June of 2001 we moved from Willmar, Minnesota to Maryland. I was able to find a job with a land developer in the Columbia area and the job required that I do a lot of driving around the DC area. Each time I got in the car and turned on the radio (didn't matter what time of day I was in the car) there would be a commercial for a certain adoption agency. After three weeks of this, I finally told my husband about these "coincidences". He informed me that he was experiencing the same thing at work when he turned on his radio at his desk. That was the beginning of our long journey to our daughter.

We began the tedious "paper chasing" only to be told by our family coordinator at the end of October that the agency was closing its China adoption program for the next year. We were heartbroken! We had our hearts set on a Chinese baby girl and had even started imagining what she would look like. Little did we know the plans that the Lord had for us! After doing some research on the internet, I called our coordinator and told her we'd like to pursue Cambodia. Three weeks into that process, Cambodia's adoption program was temporarily suspended because the INS was investigating claims of illegal adoption practices amongst various orphanages. We couldn't believe it! Were we completely wrong in thinking the Lord was guiding us to adopt a baby girl? I spent a lot of time praying and crying!

During this time, I had gotten hooked up with EEAC, which is an e-group for families adopting from Eastern Europe. I posted a request asking for any information on countries only requiring one travel trip. I received numerous responses about Belarus.

Through referrals from others, we were able to find a wonderful new agency to work with that would help us bring a child home from Belarus.

We rushed through our home study, finished our paperwork, finally sending everything to Belarus on May 31st. In July we were asked to review the files of 2 little girls. The first little girl was between 3-4 months old and wouldn't be coming off the registry until October. In Belarus, children are put on a registry for 6 months upon admission into an orphanage. This gives them an opportunity to be adopted by outside family members or Belarussian families. Once the 6 months expires, these children are available to international families for adoption. The other little girl was 7 months old and would be coming off the registry much sooner than the 3 month old little girl. We decided that we just didn't want to take a chance on the 3 month old because it was possible that a Belarussian family could adopt her prior to the time she came off the registry and we told Michelle, our coordinator, we were definitely interested in the 7 month old little girl.

On August 28th, our little girl came off the registry. On September 4th we received our official referral and found out her given name was Svetlana. My husband and I had been discussing names and wanted to find a Slavic name we could both agree on. We had decided to name her Alexandra Victoria and call her Lexi. When we received the official referral paperwork, we discovered that her name was Svetlana Alexandrovna! You could have knocked us over with a feather! As part of her referral, we were given her medical information and were told that she had been diagnosed with a heart condition called Ventricular Septum Defect, but that it should correct itself by the time she turned 4 years old. The Lord gave us peace that this was our daughter and we hurriedly filled out all the paperwork, signed it and sent it overnight to our agency.

Finally, on October 11th, Michelle called me and asked me if we were ready to go get our daughter. I'm sure everyone in my office thought I had lost my mind when I hollered, "Are you kidding?!" Our court date was set for November 4th, and we would leave for Minsk on October 31st.

The plane ride was over 12 hours, when we finally arrived in Minsk, Belarus. The wind was frigid as we walked outside of the airport and put our bags in the van, but even the foul weather couldn't dampen my spirits! We drove 45 minutes to Minsk and checked into the Hotel Belarus. The floors were dirty, there were 2 single beds in the room, but we had a decent bathroom with shower and hot running water! We were told to go to sleep and our escorts would be at the hotel at 8am the next morning to take us to our daughter. What a wonderful sound to hear - our daughter!

True to their word, Sergei, our driver, and Dima, our guide, arrived at our hotel room at 8am. We drove 4 hours watching the countryside in amazement. Rural was an understatement. Horse drawn trailers were on the same highway with cars and trucks. There were no rest stops along the way and in each village there were soldiers stationed checking people's traveling papers. It was a different world.

We arrived in Gomel around 5pm, tired, cold and wet, but I was wired! I impatiently waited in the director's office while someone was sent to get Lexi. We heard a baby crying and were told that they had to wake Lexi as it was towards the end of nap time. I heard footsteps on the stairs coming up to the director's office and there she was - a fuzzy orange fleece bundle with large blue leather shoes on her feet and a pacifier in her mouth. I wanted to run right over and scoop her up but was afraid to scare her. I knelt down on the floor and took her hands in mine and just stroked them while I talked quietly to her. She just studied my face very solemnly, but within 5 minutes she moved into my arms and I picked her up. I could hardly believe she was finally in my arms!

My husband let me have a few minutes with her and then gently took her in his arms. Given that she had never seen men before and Steve is 6 feet 4 inches, she handled this large giant very well. He started bouncing her on the floor and then she burst into giggles. It was the sweetest sound to my ears. Our one hour visitation was soon over and we were escorted to our hotel. We were told we would be able to visit her again the next day. I sadly released her back to the nurse and as soon as we were back in the van, Steve and I both started crying. The emotions of the last year came spilling out and we were crying with joy that in just 2 days, Lexi would be ours to take home.

We were able to visit Lexi again the next day. It was daylight now so we could see the city much better, as well as the area where the orphanage was situated. It was very apparent that the staff at the orphanage tried to keep the orphanage as clean as they possibly could given their situation. It was also very apparent that they really loved Lexi. We were able to visit for 2 hours and then were told we needed to leave since it was her nap time. The next day we would be in court and would not be able to visit her. Our hearts were heavy as we left.

Finally, the day we had been waiting for! We nervously sat on a bench surrounded by soldiers and found out that the Gomel court was processing criminals that day. We would have to meet with the judge in her office. As we were escorted into the judge's chamber, I grabbed Steve's hand and held on for dear life. The judge asked each of us to introduce ourselves and we noticed at the very back of the room was a woman sitting with her eyes downcast. She was the last one to state who she was and through our translator we discovered that this was Lexi's birth mother. I almost jumped out of my skin! I couldn't believe she was there. I managed to compose myself, answer all the judges questions and then the judge starting asking the birth mother the reasons for Lexi's placement in the orphanage. She was very emotional and we were all crying with her. I admired her courage in coming to court that day. It was not required of her, but she wanted to make sure that her little girl was going to a loving home.

After all the testimony from the orphanage doctor and social worker, we were told to wait outside and the judge would have her decision in 10 minutes. It was uncomfortable out in the hallway, but I asked our translator if we could ask the birthmother some questions. We weren't able to get much information, but we were able to give her a letter we had written to leave with the court records in case any of Lexi's family members were to come looking for her. We were able to watch her read the translation and with tears in her eyes, she told us that she just wanted her little girl to be happy. With tears in my eyes, I responded that we would love her with all our hearts and treasure her always. This seemed to comfort her and then we were escorted back into the judge's office. The judge proceeded to announce that we were now Lexi's parents and congratulated us. We were floating on air. Lexi's birthmother wiped a tear from her eye and left the office before I could go back over to her and say goodbye. I had to respect her need to leave as she had just made the hardest decision of her entire life.

Our translator Sveta, Sergei, his wife Alla, and Dima took us to lunch and we had a marvelous time celebrating. Just as we were to begin toasting, the sun broke through the clouds and the sky was a marvelous shade of blue. I knew this was God's little sign to me and held it close to my heart.

We had come through the fire and had made it to the other side to bring home our Belarussian treasure. The next day, we returned to the orphanage to pick Lexi up and take her home. Many tears were shed as we were all hugged and kissed by the staff and we promised to send updates as we got in the car to make the drive back to Mozyr. I hugged Lexi close and savored the moment before handing her to Steve for the long drive.

We have now been home 3 months and Lexi is such a joy. Our boys adore her and she loves them wholeheartedly. She started walking on her first birthday, mastered going up and down stairs on Christmas and has started saying a few phrases. We could not imagine our life without her. International Adoption can be an emotional roller coaster, but it was worth every second of anxiety when we have such a sweet bundle of energy in our home brightening up every corner of our life! Her presence is a reminder of God's great love for each orphaned child looking for a forever home. We praise Him every day for placing our little princess in our home.

The Barduson Family
Steve, Cyndee, Josh, Caleb, Aaron & Lexi
steve-cyndee@comcast.net

© 2003