In Lieu of a Magic Wand

Join (or form) a foster parent association and PARTICIPATE!

There is information, support, and help there but most importantly, there is strength in numbers. This strength can be used to influence the local office, legislation, and lead to an increase in community support. Advocate for yourself and the children!

Use the above and other initiatives to create a helpful environment.

Volunteer to help the agency/social worker to recruit new homes, help in training, stuffing envelopes, or whatever would improve your individual community's system. Brainstorm with other foster parents for ideas to help each other, as well as the agency.

Be media and public relations aware.

But always remain positive. Being negative might get some things done in the short-term but over the "long haul" it can only further degrade your relationship. Let them know what a good job you are doing. Develop a good relationship with a reporter, legislator, social worker, or whomever and work to see that they understand your needs. Foster Parenting is an important job that most people realize but just don't think about, so they have to be reminded... over and over again!

What One Person Can Do

There are many more system ideas that can be formulated and hopefully, the above will get you thinking. If you are not a joiner, think about what you or you and one other person can try. I know I'm going to sound like Mr. Goody Two Shoes (does anybody know what that means?) but I firmly believe that one person can make a difference. You have done that over and over again... each time you have had a placement. You have the skills necessary, just refocus and adapt them. Try nourishing the social worker, maybe they will respond to your good example.

Often in this business we say that the child is not bad, just the behavior. I think the same could be said of all of us. We all become tired, stressed, and frustrated and say and do things that perhaps we shouldn't. But the job can be made better if we all work together and try to remember the one who needs us most... the child.

© by Emil Baldwin, Jr., LSW
© 2001 Reprinted with permission