Taken from Growing Concerns -- A childrearing question-and-answer column with Martha Erickson of the University of Minnesota.

Question: Our son is almost four years old and he's developed a pattern of lying. We're not sure he even realizes what he's doing, but he tells tall tales in response to almost any question we ask him. Is this normal? And how should we respond?

Answer: In the preschool years children are just beginning to develop the ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality. They love using their imagination to weave tales. Sometimes they elaborate on something they have seen or heard and sometimes they create a story of how they wish things were. And, of course, sometimes they use a tall tale to avoid getting in trouble. (A friend's three-year-old recently insisted that a monster broke his mom's favorite vase.)

Even when children begin to discern truth from fantasy, they do not automatically understand the value of honesty. It is up to adults to teach them the importance of truthfulness, and your son is just the right age for you to begin.

Encourage your son's rich imagination by joining him in creative play. Pretend to be tigers in the jungle, clowns in the circus or astronauts going to Mars. Tell stories together, with each of you taking a turn to add a sentence or two. Through all of these activities, use words like "pretend" and "imagine" to help him learn these concepts and distinguish these activities from the serious times when it's important for him to tell the truth.

Confront dishonesty consistently by saying, "That's not the way it happened. I need you to tell me the truth."

Make truthfulness worthwhile for your son. For example, when he admits something he's done wrong, tell him you are glad he was brave enough to tell you the truth. As he gets older, help him understand the importance of trust; when he is honest with you, you learn to trust him and you will take seriously the things he tells you. (The classic fable about the little boy who cried "wolf" is a great story for teaching young children the concepts of honesty and trust.)

Finally, model honesty in your own actions. When young children hear parents telling even "little white lies" (having your spouse tell a caller you're not at home, for example), it is confusing and negates the values you are trying to teach.

Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.