Mature Enough to Babysit
Question: A neighbor has asked our 11-year-old daughter to baby-sit for her young child, and our daughter is really excited about it. But we are not so sure that she's mature enough to take on that responsibility. We'd like your ideas about how to handle this.
Answer: Caring for a young child is serious business, and you're wise to be cautious and to plan when your daughter should take on such a big responsibility. Surely the child's parents will appreciate the care you're taking with this decision, and hopefully they'll be willing to cooperate with you in determining whether your daughter is ready for the task--or what you and they can do to help her get ready. Here's what I'd suggest.
To assess your daughter's readiness, ask yourself the following questions.
How does she handle responsibilities at home, such as following through on tasks you ask her to do--like taking telephone messages and carrying out simple food preparation and cleaning tasks?
Is she able to find resources when she needs them (for example, looking up phone numbers and making calls, finding information in a reference book or reading and following directions on a prescription label)?
How does she deal with an emergency? Is she calm and organized, following simple first-aid procedures and seeking the help she needs?
Does she have some knowledge and understanding of how children behave at different ages and does she know some basic child care and discipline strategies? You can check this by role-playing with her some of the scenarios she might run into with a toddler. Or watch her practice putting a diaper on a doll (keeping in mind that a young child will wiggle a lot more).
Whether you decide that your daughter is ready now or should wait for a while, here are some steps you can take to help make sure that she is a top-notch sitter.
Help her build her child care experience under adult supervision, perhaps volunteering in the church nursery or at a local child care center or recreation program.
Encourage the neighbors to have her care for their child while they're at home doing other tasks. This allows her to get to know the child and to become familiar with the family's approaches with the child.
The first few times she baby-sits, try to be available to give her some support and guidance, at least over the phone--or perhaps even by having her care for the child at your home.
Best of all, check your school district's community education programs or contact your local Red Cross to find out about baby-sitting courses. For caregivers of any age, it is important to know as much as possible about children and child rearing. And what your daughter learns now can serve her throughout her life.
Editor's note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. You may fax them to (612) 624-6369 or send them to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
