No two people in the world are exactly alike. All people, even identical twins, have their own experiences and their own viewpoints. Do you have to agree with people to respect their right to have an opinion? No. But people with differing views and opinions can respect each other's right to differ.

You don't have to like the same food or music as your friends, practice the same religion, or dress the same way. But you might want to be open to learning about those differences. An important part of growing is being willing to learn new things. Being open to seeing new things and learning about other people without negatively prejudging them is a form of tolerance.

But does tolerance mean that all behaviors have to be accepted? No, of course not. Behaviors that disrespect or hurt others, like being mean or bullying, or behaviors that break social rules, like lying or stealing, should not be tolerated. Respect is about accepting people for who they are, for their best selves - not about accepting bad behavior. Tolerance also means treating others the way you'd like to be treated.

Here are a few ways to do this:

* Don't judge a person on your first impression, which is usually based solely on the way he or she looks. Take the time to learn more about that person than meets the eye.

* Keep an open mind. It may be easier to spend your time with people who seem just like you, but you can miss out on a lot of interesting experiences - conversations, foods, books, music and art, sports, religious ceremonies, and more. Getting to know people who seem different can be difficult at first, but you'll probably find that you have much more in common than you think.

* Be informed about what is happening in the United States and the world, and find out what you can contribute. You might volunteer at a social services or human rights organization. You might want to learn more about how you can combat hate. If you like to play music or write, you might try using those skills to express and share your feelings.

You probably know many teens who have something that sets them apart from the norm: maybe they need wheelchairs, or live in poverty, or speak a foreign language. All of these people have feelings and deserve to feel accepted for who they are. Everyone has something to offer, even if it's something unexpected, like a new idea or a new way of looking at something. The more we learn about people, the more likely we are to realize that many of the myths and stereotypes we hear are unfair or incorrect.

Reviewed by: Neil Izenberg, MD
Date reviewed: November 2001