Some teens think they need to change how they look or act to feel good about themselves. But if you can train yourself to reprogram the way you look at your body, you can defend yourself from negative comments - both those that come from others and those that come from you. Remember: when others criticize your body, it's usually because they are insecure about the changes happening to themselves.

The first thing to do is recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape, size, or color it comes in. If you are very worried about your weight or size, you can check with your doctor to verify that things are OK. But remember that it is no one's business but your own what your body is like - ultimately, you have to be happy with yourself.

Remember, too, that there are things about yourself you can't change - such as your height and shoe size - and you should accept and love these things about yourself. But if there are things about yourself that you do want to change, make goals for yourself. For example, if you want to lose weight, commit yourself to exercising three to four times a week and eating nutritiously. Accomplishing the goals you set for yourself can help to improve your self-esteem.

When you hear negative comments coming from within, tell yourself to stop. Your inner critic can be retrained. Try exercises like giving yourself three compliments every day. While you're at it, every evening list three things in your day that really gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt on your face, the sound of your favorite band, or the way someone laughed at your jokes. By focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you can change how you feel about yourself.

Where Can I Go if I Need Help?

Sometimes low self-esteem and body image problems are too much to handle alone. Some teens may become depressed, and lose interest in activities or friends. Talk to a parent, coach, religious leader, guidance counselor, therapist, or an adult friend. An adult can help you put your body image in perspective and give you positive feedback about your body, your skills, and your abilities.

If you can't turn to anyone you know, call a teen crisis hotline (check the yellow pages under social services). The most important thing is to get help if you feel like your body image and low self-esteem are affecting your life.

Updated and reviewed by: Kim Rutherford, MD
Date reviewed: October 2001
Originally reviewed by: Jonathan Schneider, DO