In my travels I noticed a person questioning whether she should allow a both sex, supervised overnight for 17 year olds. My answer is don't do it. I usually err on the side of giving teens lots of freedom and a great deal of trust, but I believe this idea stretches both points.

First of all, let us look at this question from a practical viewpoint. Who will monitor them and can that person remain awake all night to do so? Most people, who have a normal daily life, do not do well when they attempt to stay up all night. Even if you can, why should you?

Just having someone there to supervise says I can't trust your instincts. That is harmful to kids, so why allow it at all. If we want to trust kids, it makes sense to keep them out of situations that their minds and bodies are not yet mature enough to deal with appropriately.

Another point is that kids are very clever and extremely industrious in their attempts to reach whatever goal they have in mind. You are likely to miss something, or even fall asleep leaving the doors wide open for behavior you would never approve of in the first place. You will need to leave the area occasionally for a drink of water or a bathroom trip. If the group is fairly large, just keeping track of where everyone is can be a challenge.

I know of kids who had sex in facilities where many people were monitoring the situation. I know kids who managed to have sex on the school bus and many very unlikely places where people were around and they could have easily been discovered. Teens often do not share your values and certainly tend to be much more casual in regards to sex than the adults.

The last point is the fact that most parents won't approve if they know so kids would not be allowed to come to the overnight anyway. You could be sued and blamed if anything unfortunate does happen. It could be a legal issue involved which could ruin your life if the blame fell on you. Why take the chance?

Kids will find ways to be together and to even have sex, but if you throw them together in this type of situation, you are just asking for trouble. We cannot always stop what happens to them. Each of us is only responsible for our own behavior and our own reactions, but why put yourself in such a precarious position where you made it easy for them to fall prey to their desires. This is one time I'd say, "No" loud and clear.

Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel