Taken from Growing Concerns -- A childrearing question-and-answer column with Martha Erickson of the University of Minnesota.

Question: There is a boy on our block who is a terrible bully with children who are smaller than he is. How can we help our kids learn to deal with this?

Answer: Many children (and sometimes parents too) worry about being a snitch or tattletale. But whenever someone has a significant advantage in size, strength, or power, "tattling" is exactly what the situation calls for. The best advice for a child who is being taken advantage of by a neighborhood bully is the same advice we give children when they confront an adult who might harm them: "Run, yell, tell!"

Those three simple words are easy even for young children to remember. Since the bully seems to be a problem not only for your children, but for others in the neighborhood, it may be helpful for parents to get together and coach all of the children to respond in the same way. (This helps to prevent the secondary problem of a child being teased about being a "snitch.")

If your relationship with the parents of the troublesome boy allows, I'd also suggest that you talk to them in a straightforward and supportive way about this problem. They may be unaware of the problem and would want to know so that they can address it. (Let them know that you want them to do the same if and when your child is ever causing a problem.) Or perhaps the parents are at their wit's end dealing with the boy's behavior. If approached in an empathic, caring way, they might welcome new ideas and support. It may be especially helpful if neighbors join with the parents to hold the boy accountable, deal with the behavior in a consistent way, and - very importantly--help the boy find opportunities for success. Are there times when he behaves well? How can you and other neighbors support and encourage him in that?

Allowing the bullying behavior to go unchecked is dangerous for your children. And, in fact, it does the bully and his family no good either. He and his family need to be held accountable, and they need to be supported in their efforts to help him find new ways of behaving--seeking help from a counselor or psychologist if that's what it takes. To let the behavior continue can only bring more harm to everyone involved.

Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.