I'm hungry! I'm not hungry! I hate that! Can I have a snack? Food is at the center of many arguments. Most often parents and children are operating under separate agendas when it comes to food. We can do many things to stop the problems and make mealtime more pleasant.

1. Three Square Meals?
Children bum up a lot of energy in activity and growing. They really need to re-fuel every two to three hours. Sticking to a three meal schedule sometimes puts five or more hours between meals. Hungry kids are fussy kids! It's good to plan snacks between meals. It's even better to create a "snack cabinet" full of healthy choices and let the kids eat when they're hungry. If this idea is new to your family be prepared for the kids to overdo it at first. Eventually they will learn to listen to their body signals.

2. When's Dinner?
A great way to encourage your kids to eat dinner is to move the dinner hour to an earlier time. Usually, kids are hungry right after school. If you can move dinner to four o'clock the kids will eat! If you don't want to eat that early, don't. Feed the children separately and let them join you at the table later for conversation and dessert. An alternate choice is to serve an appetizer or part of the meal early to tide them over until dinner time.

3. Yuk!
Do you have a picky eater? Instead of fighting over every meal make a few small changes. Keep in mind that most kids avoid anything that looks different or too complex. They tend to like simple, familiar foods. So, if you are making a goulash, prior to mixing the ingredients, separate enough plain hamburger and noodles for the kids and serve it in a simple, unadorned way. Don't expect your child to clear his plate, or to like everything you serve. On the other hand, don't turn into Chef of the Day. One rule that works for us is: "You may eat what's on your plate, or you can make yourself some toast." Once the novelty wears off your child won't eat toast every night!

4. Relax!
The more focus and attention you place on food, the more of a battle ground it will become. Your job is to offer healthy choices for meals and snacks, not to monitor every single bite! Add a daily vitamin for good measure. And as long as your child's height and weight are in the normal range - stop the worry!

Mini Tip
Don't lecture, nag and scold! It makes your kids "Parent Deaf". Instead, try these ideas:

Keep it brief.
Don't use a paragraph if you can say it with a sentence, don't use a sentence if you can say it with one word:

No: "How many times do I have to tell you kids to clean up your toys! This room is a disaster. Get busy and clean up this mess. Why do I. .."

Yes: "Kids. Please put toys in the toybox and books on the shelf."

Yes: "Kids. Toys!"

Don't criticize or blame.
Focus on the problem. Suggest solutions. Send the message: "You're a good kid, you can handle this."

No: "What is the matter with you? Why do you always forget your homework? That's irresponsible."

Yes: "Perhaps you could ride your bike to school or call a friend for the assignment. 1I have confidence you'll solve this one!"

Zip your lips.
Nagging makes it your problem. Silence keeps it your child's problem. Learn when to stay out of it and let your child live with the consequences.

Pick your battles.
Don't make an issue over every little thing. Let the little stuff slide. It makes your life easier.

© 2000National Parent Information Network

Credits: Elizabeth Pantley