The seemingly simple things we say to our kids can affect the way they respond to us. When we repeat certain things over and over they gain the power to change our children's lives. Take a close at these two lists. Make sure that you're frequently using words that build and avoiding words that destroy.

One-liners that Build

I'm proud of you.
Way to go!
What do you think?
Good job!
I know you can do it.
I'm glad you're my kid.
You're a joy to be around.
Thank you.
I believe in you.
Do you want to tell me about it?
You're very important to me.
You're good at that.
You are special.
To me you're perfect.
You make me smile.
I like being with you.
I love you.

One-liners that Destroy

What is the matter with you?
Can't you ever listen to me?
You did that wrong.
How many times do I have to tell you?
Go away, you're being a pest.
Why can't you be more like your brother?
Shut up!
Why did you do that?
You are so lazy.
You make me so mad!
Can't you two ever get along?
You're lying.
Don't act like a wild animal.
You ALWAYS . . . .
You NEVER . . .
It's all your fault.
I'm sorry you were ever born.

© 2000 National Parent Information Network

Credits: Elizabeth Pantley

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