Parenting Column - Eating Meals Together
For our family the hub of the house is the kitchen. Time spent there has been pleasant and fulfilling. Our family loves good food. Our bodies are evidence of that fact. We love to cook, as our kitchen gadget surplus proves. More important then food is the company. We believe the family should share meals.
This concept is not new,
families used to eat every meal together. They would gather round a table, say grace, and enjoy sharing a special time together. Today, in some families this only happens at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Families who don't eat together are missing quality time. In
foster care, I heard about meal times where each member of the family would take their plates into a different room. This is not a "family meal".
Mealtime was our time to "eyeball" the kids. We could really look at them, something some parents don't actually get to do more than once a week. In foster care, this observation was even more important to monitor kids for chemical use or self-injuries.
They were unable to hide dilated pupils from us. They had to explain "burn marks" which later proved to be part of a cult initiation. You may not have these problems to contend with, but wouldn't it be an ideal time to check a child's physical and emotional health.
In addition to being a time of observation, mealtime should be a time of conversation. Talking to your kids is vital to good parenting, listening to them, even more important. If you never sit down together, how can you discuss things important to your kids? How will you know about the "new boyfriend?" The exam that is causing your child anxiety? The discovery they made that may forecast their choice of a future career?
We need to make "family meals" a priority. In foster care, we would reschedule meals, rather than not eat together. We felt it was that important. Routine at home helps to promote a feeling of security.
It's difficult to maintain family mealtime when parents work late and kids have so many extra curricular activities, but give it a good try. It could be one of the most important things you do for your family.
Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel