Children need parents who at least appear to agree on rules, consequences, and parenting decisions. Even when parents have separate thoughts on these decisions and are miles apart on a compromise, they must present a unified front.

This does not mean that parents will or should always agree on all issues. It does mean they will discuss differences in private and preferably ahead of time. This keeps parents looking like a strong front is exactly as it should be to succeed at parenting.

When kids believe they can separate the parents on issues, they begin to see possibilities of conquering you two and defeating parental goals. This idea must be avoided or the kids succeed. If they do, I can almost guarantee, you will have problems as a couple.

Best prevention is to decide issues early on, even before kids enter the picture. Certainly, before the problem is likely to arise. That means do not wait until your kids are teens to decide how you will handle curfews, dating, and teen sexuality. If parents know where they stand on issues and how they will handle typical teen problems, they will have a much smoother sailing through those adolescent periods that drive most parents insane.

Kids by nature will pit one parent against the other when they want something. They will usually go to the easiest parent, the one who is most lenient, first and then enlist their help in gaining permission from the stricter parent. This is a method old as time and still works in some households. Thwart this in yours.

When you can stand together as parents and say, "No" it is much easier. Kids also soon learn where they stand and this can alleviate some confrontations.

Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel