Pets for Kids
Question: Our kids are begging for a kitten or a puppy but we're not sure they're ready for pet ownership. How do we know they're ready--or how do we help them get ready?
Answer: Owning a pet is great fun, a great learning opportunity and, as you apparently realize, a great responsibility. You don't say how old your children are, but here are some general guidelines for how to decide if they're ready, as well as some tips for helping them (and yourself) prepare for a smooth transition to life with a pet.
When children are very young, safety for both kids and pet is a primary concern. Young children move fast and act impulsively. Without any bad intentions they can be rough with a pet, which can lead to harm. Beyond safety concerns, the big issue is responsibility. I'd suggest you look closely at how well your children currently follow directions and carry out their household chores from day to day without reminders. How do they take care of the things that they already own--their clothes, their toys, their bikes?
Animals need constant care, even after the novelty wears off; how well your children handle their responsibilities now will be the best predictor of how they'll follow through with a pet. If possible, you may want to arrange to pet-sit for a friend's cat or dog to give your children a chance to show you--and themselves--that they're capable and motivated enough to take on this task. Or you might want to start with a pet that requires less care than a cat or dog, letting your children work their way up to a greater level of responsibility.
Once you decide that your children are mature enough to own a pet, I'd suggest a family meeting to come to agreement about how you all will care for and train the pet. This involves several steps.
First, set clear expectations (preferably in writing) as to who will feed, walk and bathe the pet. Clarify what each family member is expected to do if for some reason they are unable to fulfill his or her task. You might also want to include on your work schedule such tasks as watching to see when it's time to buy pet food or calling to make appointments with the vet. Keep in mind who will be responsible for making special arrangements for the pet when you go out of town.
Second, clearly spell out ahead of time what the consequences will be if a family member doesn't carry out his or her responsibility. For example, the person who forgot to take the dog out will be the one to clean up the mess. Or, in the worst-case scenario, your children must understand that you will find a new home for the pet if the family isn't up to providing reliable care.
Finally, although it's sometimes hard to think so far ahead, it is a good idea to anticipate the probable lifespan of the pet and think about how your family life will change as the children and the pet get older. Understand that you're taking on a long-term commitment that may well extend beyond the time when the kids leave home. Whose pet will it be when the children head off to college or work? By knowing exactly what you're taking on, you and your children will find greater joy and less frustration in pet ownership.
Editor's note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. You may fax them to (612) 624-6369 or send them to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
