Placing for Selfish Reasons?

Placing for Selfish Reasons?

I am a 37-year-old mother of two beautiful daughters living in Maryland. There ages are 17 years old and 9 years old. Recently my eldest got into a lot of trouble and took me through hell and back. As a result, I gave her over as a Ward of the Court because she was out of control. This happened a little over two months ago and I am comfortable with my decision. It was a difficult one. While I was losing my mind, I met this guy and had sex with him and the condom burst. It was a one-night-stand, and I became pregnant. I told the father I was pregnant and I haven't seen him since. I don't want another baby. I can't afford it, I don't want to give up 18 more years of my life again when my other children are coming of age. I guess what I am asking is should I feel guilty about giving this child up for adoption? My motives are purely selfish but I had been down and out for so long, and I finally see light at the end of my financial and mental tunnel that this is the last thing I need. Please advise.
- Denise J.

Dear Denise,

There is no reason to feel guilty. You are thinking of yourself... but also of the child.

Adoptions today are not so secretive. I would advise you to try to find an agency that will work with you to place the child in some sort of an open adoption. You can even help pick his or her parents and maintain some contact with them through the years.

If you decide to place this child just hold your head high and be proud of your decision.

As for your nine year old, if you seem happy about what you are doing she should be okay with it too.

Best wishes,
Lezli

Lezli Adams
AskBmom
found daughter Julie on 3/18/1999
born 10/10/1968 in Ohio
adopted in Indiana now in Texas
Leave no stone unturned.