I have had the wonderful privilege of potty training 4 children. The first in 1983 and the last one in February of 2002! All were completed by their 2nd birthday, even my son. So I often have people ask what my secret is.
First secret is get and read the book "Toilet Training in less than a day". We use the system over the course of a week with good success. You must get the wetting doll and have the child train the doll to succeed.
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Second is wait until YOU are ready to do it and stay with it. Never start and stop!!! You must be ready to stay with it until complete.
Third is to be sure you child can follow simple instructions: come, go, pick this up, put that down. From 18-22 months I work on this. Preparing them for following instructions and practicing taking their pants up and down.
Fourth is I start BEFORE their 2nd birthday, before the major struggles of the will occur. 20-23 months works best!
Fifth I put them into CLOTH training pants with plastic pants over the top and never go back to diapers or paper pull-ups. I deal with every accident immediately, calmly, firmly. Going back to diapers will set you back. Keep them in cloth panties until they get it. Some kids can do it in a day or so, some a couple weeks.
This system has not failed me yet. The book will tell you that any child not trained by age 3 (unless a physical medical problem) is a will issue not a skill issue. I have found that to be true. We use the Wipe Off Potty Chart at http://www.mypreciouskid.com/products.html for a reward system.
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