Part1: Introduction

The foster care system comes in contact with and is shaped by many forces, but perhaps the greatest is the court system. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can compare to the power that the lawyers, judges, and their actions have over the children and their families. Their decisions can cause great happiness or total devastation to children who often have little or no input as to where they live or what happens to them. Obviously, those of us who share their lives are also heavily influenced by the court and the pronouncements it makes.

Most everyone who has been to court knows that it can be a very intimidating and nerve-wracking experience. In many situations, we have no control over the legal environment but we do have control over how we deal with what happens. One of the ways we can lessen the threat of making a court appearance is to learn more about the system and how we can better prepare the children and ourselves. However, like so many other things in life, it is not something that can be done easily or quickly. It involves a gradual and wide-based approach that will require both your time and energy.

Part 2: In The Beginning

Start early. The preparation begins when the child first comes into your home.

Observe the children. Look, listen, and learn from their behaviors and what they don't say as well as what they do. Foster parents should not prompt a child to talk about the abuse, but instead be supportive and good listeners. Pay attention if and when the child brings up the details.

Keep a record. Take notes on things the children tell you and let their social worker know if it is new information or something different than you've been told. These [social workers] contacts should be on a regular basis. Let them know how the child is adjusting to foster care and in general, how he/she is doing. This information should also be made available to the child's Guardian-Ad-Litem (GAL - lawyer) if this is permissible within your system.

Keep in touch with authorities. Make sure the prosecutor knows who you are and how to get in touch with you. In general, be available for those who need to talk with you.

Pay attention. Children often have nicknames or their own words for things in their life. It may be a pet, an object or a part of their body. If you come to know what these names or words are, you may be able to "interpret" for others later on.

Pay attention to the child's habits, games, or mannerisms. This information may be useful to a counselor, therapist or the prosecuting attorney. It can also be important to learn how the child makes him/herself comfortable. What subjects make the child shy or embarrassed?

Provide a nurturing environment. Your child needs to know that they are not in foster care because of something they did, but because of something that someone did to them. Although many children will understand this on an intellectual level, there are just as many who will feel guilty and responsible for what they see as bad things happening to their family.
If the child is comfortable with the people they meet in the judicial process, they will be more likely to be truthful and suffer fewer fears when appearing in court.

Part 3: The Three B's

Be a teacher...

The children will have to communicate to the court. Part of your role will be to provide a normal life for the child so that he/she will be able to describe events or things and answer questions.

Young children in particular do not have a fully developed sense of time. Often they can not describe when events occurred. Talk about seasons, months and, if appropriate, days of the week. Does the child understand general terms like morning, afternoon, before and after, etc.?

Children may also need help sorting out family relationships such as cousin, stepmother, boyfriend, etc.

In a sexual abuse case, however, do NOT try to teach a child the proper names for body parts or bodily functions. Normally, only an adult would use these words so it could give the impression that the child has been told what to say and could destroy their credibility.

Be honest...

Make sure the child knows the difference between truth and make-believe. With young children, the court must determine if the child understands the oath and what it means to tell the truth. This is a crucial first step which may determine whether the child can testify at all.

Be a role model by being honest with the child. Show them what honesty is, how a honest person acts, etc. The child will learn the importance of telling the truth by seeing good examples.

But...

Bite your emotional tongue...

If you are worried about the case, meeting the attorneys, appearing in court, etc., the child probably will see this and also be worried. Try to be confident but don't be afraid to let them know that these kind of feelings are normal and everyone, including social workers and lawyers, experiences them.

© by Emil Baldwin, Jr., LSW
© 2001 Reprinted with permission