"Let's say you are playing in the park with Tara and Megan. Someone you don't know, comes over and asks you if you would go with him and help look for the missing pup. What would you do?"

Without hesitation, six-year-old Erica replies, "I would say no. Then I would run and find you or daddy."

"Good girl," replies Evelyn, Erica's mother.

Like most parents today, Evelyn, and her husband, Bob, are concerned about the possibility of their child being abducted and sexually abused by strangers. They are aware that 80 per cent of all sex crimes are committed by a person known to the child. However, Erica's parents feel it is prudent to educate their daughter about the danger, however remote.

Some experts worry that discussing stranger abduction can make certain children unduly fearful. Yet, given the potential for tragedy, most parents will probably want to spend some time talking about the issue with their kids.

Perhaps the most important thought to impart to children is that people who wish to do them harm will almost always try to get a child alone. Beware of ploys such as Can you help me carry my groceries to the car?

Molesters will often disguise themselves as authority figures to lure a child away from his or her circle of safety. Kids should know that a real policeman would never ask a child to accompany him without the permission of a parent or school principal.

Mindful that the image may frighten a child, parents also need to inform youngsters that even if an abuser threatens them with force or a weapon, the best choice is to stay put and yell.

"You're waiting for Mummy outside a store and a man tells you to come with him or he will hurt you," says Evelyn to her daughter. "What do you do?"

On cue, Erica replies, "I yell, 'Please help me. This is not my daddy or mummy.'" Good girl.

Twelve-year-old Marcie is all excited. A new neighbor, has asked if she would like to take on the job of walking his dog after school. Marcie, who loves animals and who is saving up for new skis, has agreed to go over to the neighbor's house later to discuss the arrangement. When Marcie's dad, Alex, hears the news, he congratulates his daughter on obtaining her first job. He also tells Marcie he will accompany her to the scheduled meeting.

Marcie is aghast at her father's intervention. "He'll think I'm a baby if you come," says the pre-teen. "And anyway, this isn't a stranger. The guy lives on our street."

But Alex insists. As he explains to Marcie, a full 80 per cent of sexual abuse crimes are committed by people known to the victim. Unfortunately, molesters can be the long time family friend, the organized youth program volunteer or the neighbor down the street. Alex also tells his daughter that one of the favorite ploys of sexual abusers is to offer children and teen's bogus jobs in order to lure children into isolated environments.

Open discussion about sexual abuse is one of the best ways to prevent the abuse from occurring. It's particularly useful to give children simple information that will cut through the fear, confusion and guilty feelings that the topic often engenders.

It's appropriate, for instance, to tell a young child that she is the boss of her body. She should be able to identify the location of her private parts and be aware that only her parents and the doctor may touch these areas, and only then for hygiene and health reasons.

A young child also needs to understand that it is wrong for any adult to force a child to touch the adult's private parts.

It's also helpful to teach your child to be assertive and communicative whenever she finds herself in an uncomfortable situation. If anyone asks her to do something she feels is wrong, she should tell that person she is going to tell Mummy or Daddy. And then she should do exactly that.

© Algoma Family Services