Putting it All Together - Proud Heart, Accepting Who You Are

Self-esteem means feeling good about yourself on the outside and the inside, and it's one of the most important components of living a healthy life. But just like doing well in school or becoming good at a sport, self-esteem is something you have to build and maintain. At times, it can be hard work!

Let's begin by breaking self-esteem down into three areas: competence, confidence, and connectedness. Competence means thinking about what you are good at - like math, soccer, or piano - and focusing on developing excellent skills. Confidence means getting to know yourself, feeling good about yourself, and celebrating the things that are unique to you. Connectedness means connecting with another person, feeling part of a group or community, and caring about someone other than yourself.

Sound complicated? It doesn't have to be, and here are a few basic tips to get you started:

* Get to know yourself - your values, your family history and culture, your likes and dislikes, your future aspirations.

* Set realistic goals and expectations for yourself and realize that it's ok to make mistakes.

* Take care of your body: respect it, accept it, and remember that real female bodies come in all shapes and sizes.

* Find real live women role models instead of the models, actresses, and other media creations that surround you.

* I feel powerless when:
* People don't listen to what I have to say.
* I can't explain how I feel.
* People are gossiping about me or others.
* I'm left out of a conversation about a subject I can contribute to.
*Someone says I can't do a job.
*Adults look down on me.
*Someone puts me down.
*I lose my sense of self.

* I feel powerful when:
* I reach my goals.
* I can overcome criticism and stand up for myself.
* I'm heard and respected by others.
* I'm understood.
* I feel good about myself.
* I do the right thing.

Young women and older women come together to celebrate themselves.

To pray you open your whole self
To sky, to earth, to sun, to moon
To one whole voice that is you.
And know there is more
That you can't see, can't hear.
Can't know except in moments
Steadily growing, and in languages
That aren't always sound but other
Circles of motion,
Like eagle that Sunday morning
Over Salt River. Circled in blue sky
In wind, swept our hearts clean
With sacred wings,
We see you, see ourselves and know
That we must take the utmost care
And kindness in all things. . . .

From "Eagle Poem" by Joy Harjo