Here's some scary news: in one survey of American teens, 24% reported knowing someone at school who had experienced dating violence. So if you think there's no way it could happen to you or someone you know, think again. Ask yourself the following questions:

*Does my boyfriend get angry when I don't drop everything for him?

*Does my girlfriend make fun of the way I dress, and tell me I'd never be able to find anyone else who would date me?

*Does my boyfriend keep me from seeing my friends? And from talking to any other guys?

*Does my girlfriend want me to stop playing on the basketball team, even though she knows I love it?

*Does my boyfriend ever raise his hand when he's mad, like he's about to hit me? Does he try to force me to go further sexually than I want to?

If you can think of any way in which your boyfriend or girlfriend is trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, isolate you from the rest of your world, or - this is a big one - harm you physically or sexually, then it's time to get out, fast. Let a trusted adult know what's going on, and make sure you're safe from this person.

Relationships can be one of the best - and most challenging - parts of your world. They can be full of fun, romance, excitement, intense feelings, and occasional heartache, too. Whether you're single or in a relationship, remember it's good to be choosy about who you get close to. If you're still waiting, take your time and get to know plenty of people. Think about the qualities you value in a relationship, and see how they match up with the ingredients of a healthy relationship. Work on developing those good qualities in yourself - they make you a lot more attractive to others. And if you're already part of a pair, make sure the relationship you're in brings out the best in both of you.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: September 2002